Because I love you all I have decided to share these fun links I discovered while "working," or more appropriately put, "while surfing the internet on government time."
Well, this clinches it. Not the holocaust, not volvos, not sauerkraut, but this link cements the Germans as the craziest people EVER. I mean come on, David Hasselhoff? WTF, Germany, WTF?
And remember when Will and Grace was new, and the world was rosy? "Gay people on television?" we scoffed. "What is this craziness of which you speak?" Then the show got stale and it just wasn't as funny. But relive the glory days with this 30 second clip. Just...awesome. Scroll down to the "Oops I Did It Again Dance."
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
As my birthday approaches (February 3, mark your calendars!), I become more and more concerned with things related to it (duh). So as I flipped through my In Style magazine at lunch, I actually read my horoscope. Here is what their astrologer had to say for Aquarius (the water bearer...like, thanks, for telling everyone I retain water, magazine people).
Aquarius Profile
You're quirky, outgoing, creative, and practically immune to peer pressure. On the other hand, focusing so intensely on your pet projects can leave your loved ones feeling neglected. Daring and original, you have a knack for creating your own look by mixing clothes in unexpected ways. Others admire your playfulness and confidence. Flirting comes naturally to bold Aquarians, but when faced with divulging true feelings, you use extreme caution. Beware you don't come off as aloof while trying to guard your fragile heart from harm.
It seems pretty close to the mark. I am definitely quirky. But here are the celebrity examples they give for Aquarius: Mischa Barton, Sheryl Crow, and PARIS HILTON. Ugh! I cannot imagine three people I am more dissimilar to. Blech!
In the goods news category, Arista and I are going to see Michael Buble perform at DAR Constitution Hall in March. So awesome! He is so adorable and has such an amazing voice, I am even willing to forgive him for being Canadian. I mean, people can't help where they're born, right? And if he was American, he probably wouldn't have such an awesome name. Boo-blay...it just rolls off the tongue.
Currently Reading: "Artemis Fowl" by Eoin Colfer
Currently Listening To: "Innocent Man" Billy Joel (can you believe nobody wants to go with me to see his concert in April?)
Aquarius Profile
You're quirky, outgoing, creative, and practically immune to peer pressure. On the other hand, focusing so intensely on your pet projects can leave your loved ones feeling neglected. Daring and original, you have a knack for creating your own look by mixing clothes in unexpected ways. Others admire your playfulness and confidence. Flirting comes naturally to bold Aquarians, but when faced with divulging true feelings, you use extreme caution. Beware you don't come off as aloof while trying to guard your fragile heart from harm.
It seems pretty close to the mark. I am definitely quirky. But here are the celebrity examples they give for Aquarius: Mischa Barton, Sheryl Crow, and PARIS HILTON. Ugh! I cannot imagine three people I am more dissimilar to. Blech!
In the goods news category, Arista and I are going to see Michael Buble perform at DAR Constitution Hall in March. So awesome! He is so adorable and has such an amazing voice, I am even willing to forgive him for being Canadian. I mean, people can't help where they're born, right? And if he was American, he probably wouldn't have such an awesome name. Boo-blay...it just rolls off the tongue.
Currently Reading: "Artemis Fowl" by Eoin Colfer
Currently Listening To: "Innocent Man" Billy Joel (can you believe nobody wants to go with me to see his concert in April?)
Monday, January 23, 2006
Move Over Versace
There are many people in the world who would make excellent fashion icons. But just because someone is famous, it does not mean the world should seek to emulate their fashion style. For example, nobody should try to dress like the following people: Kirsten Dunst, Sienna Miller, either of the Olson Twins, Michael Madsen, Madonna, Johnny Depp, Dick Cheney, Condoleeza Rice, anybody from the 1970s.
But someone has gone a step further. There I was, walking the two blocks to Au Bon Pain to get a delicious bagel and I spy with my little eye someone taking their fashion cues from JACK FUCKING ABRAMOFF. That's right, some random business man was wearing the Abramoff classic.
Now, in case you live outside the Metro area and are ignorant as to who I mean, I will elaborate. Jack Abramoff is the lobbyist who is currently being prosecuted/persecuted (hee) for bribing Congressmen with trips to Scotland, cash, and all sorts of pork products. And this is how he dresses for court:
I just...don't...what...why...WTF, random business man on street, WTF? He had it all folks, the black trench coat, the fedora placed just so it would cover his shifty eyes...what was he thinking? If we as a culture have learned anything in the past ten years it is that big trench coats do not inspire confidence, in fact they usually make people want to search you for weapons. So why would you choose to model yourself after the man who has come to represent all that is corrupt with DC? I thought about crossing to the other side of the street when I saw this guy coming because it was so disconcerting.
So be on the look-out folks. New for spring 2006: the trench coat/fedora combo. Just what every well-dressed crook will be wearing.
Currently Reading: "Knife of Dreams", by Robert Jordan (he's back on track!)
Currently Listening to: "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Soundtrack"
But someone has gone a step further. There I was, walking the two blocks to Au Bon Pain to get a delicious bagel and I spy with my little eye someone taking their fashion cues from JACK FUCKING ABRAMOFF. That's right, some random business man was wearing the Abramoff classic.
Now, in case you live outside the Metro area and are ignorant as to who I mean, I will elaborate. Jack Abramoff is the lobbyist who is currently being prosecuted/persecuted (hee) for bribing Congressmen with trips to Scotland, cash, and all sorts of pork products. And this is how he dresses for court:
I just...don't...what...why...WTF, random business man on street, WTF? He had it all folks, the black trench coat, the fedora placed just so it would cover his shifty eyes...what was he thinking? If we as a culture have learned anything in the past ten years it is that big trench coats do not inspire confidence, in fact they usually make people want to search you for weapons. So why would you choose to model yourself after the man who has come to represent all that is corrupt with DC? I thought about crossing to the other side of the street when I saw this guy coming because it was so disconcerting.
So be on the look-out folks. New for spring 2006: the trench coat/fedora combo. Just what every well-dressed crook will be wearing.
Currently Reading: "Knife of Dreams", by Robert Jordan (he's back on track!)
Currently Listening to: "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Soundtrack"
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Short and Sweet
This will be a short post, as not much has happened lately in the land of Maggie. My morning ritual involves waking before 6 a.m. and driving to the metro station. As soon as I alight onto the platform, the train leaves. Thanks, douchebag driver. So I stand on the (freezing) platform and read my Washington Post Express. For those of you not from the area, this is a smallish paper devoted to the local, world, and national news and is aimed at a younger reading audience. Oh, and it's free. Sweet!
The Express does not take itself too seriously, and the last page has the celebrity news. For some reason, the headlines on this particular day were quite amusing so I have decided to share them with you.
On Angelina Jolie's pregnancy..."In Your Face, Aniston! Boo-Ya!" (
On the release of Colin Farrell's sex tape on the internet..."Site Shuts Down After Causing Mass Blindness" (under the heading "Gross")
On Eminem and his ex-wife reuniting..."No One Can Inspire Violent, Misogynistic Lyrics Like You Can"
On the arrest of former pop singer Lief Garret..."Ryan Cabrera's Future"
And because it's always good for a laugh, here is the IM conversation Moe, Caroline, and I had during last week's "Supernatural" (once again, centered on the hotness of Jensen Ackles and about an evil scarecrow that comes to life and kills people....you kinda had to be there)
MOPPYMOE: i am scared already
dissident1L: also, wasn't there already a hookman episode?
dissident1L: dude
dissident1L: pillow of fear.
MOPPYMOE: dude i couldnt get through the hook episode
dissident1L: i didn't even try.
dissident1L: ohhhh
dissident1L: i SEE!
dissident1L: it's totally gonna come alive and hook him
RedMomma3: OMG
RedMomma3: so scary
RedMomma3: why is he so freakin hot
dissident1L: what happened?
RedMomma3: and brave, he got right in that thing's face
MOPPYMOE: its unfair, there is only one of him and 15 million single women approximately his age that would jump his bones in an instant
dissident1L: yeah. b/c, blech, even if it wasn't eeeevil
RedMomma3: the scarecrow had a tatoo on its arm the dude did
dissident1L: SERIOUSLY
dissident1L: right. but did it, like, open its eeeevil eyes?
RedMomma3: so the dude is now the scarecrow
MOPPYMOE: i didnt see either, did it come alive again/.??
RedMomma3: sigh
RedMomma3: you two
dissident1L: what about the chick?
RedMomma3: she dead
dissident1L: maybe she's the wicked witch who cooks little lost children in her oven
MOPPYMOE: she doesnt get to be a freaky scarecrow??
dissident1L: brb -- need tostitos
RedMomma3: haha
RedMomma3: ok
RedMomma3: who gives a crap about smallville?
RedMomma3: now that Jensen isn't on I am surprised anyone even watches
MOPPYMOE: he was on smallville??
RedMomma3: yeah
MOPPYMOE: he was on something else that i used to watch and i couldnt for the life of me remember waht it was
MOPPYMOE: i dont remember him on it
dissident1L: oh, sigh.
dissident1L: this isn't the perfect-little-town-kept-alive-by-the-blood-of-virgins, is it?
MOPPYMOE: lets go to the orchard baby
RedMomma3: like that girl was a virgin
RedMomma3: bitch, please
dissident1L: HAHAHA
dissident1L: she sucks.
MOPPYMOE: duh bitch
dissident1L: BIG FUCKING SURPRISE YOU MORON
RedMomma3: her tooth is fucked up
MOPPYMOE: hahahaha
RedMomma3: it's all sticking out
RedMomma3: what a hobag
RedMomma3: did you see how she uncrossed her legs?
dissident1L: dude, you can't fuck HIM for a ride, he's at the bus station too!
RedMomma3: she's a succubus or something
dissident1L: snaggletooth
RedMomma3: seriously
MOPPYMOE: wasnt he just all upset that his girlfriend was dead
dissident1L: IT"S THE PIE!!!!
RedMomma3: evil pie
MOPPYMOE: oh my god!
dissident1L: I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S THE PIE
MOPPYMOE: u are so right!!
RedMomma3: maggie gylenhal look-alike
RedMomma3: sp?
MOPPYMOE: save them dean!!!
MOPPYMOE: take the pie
dissident1L: dude, she totally is!
MOPPYMOE: flush it!
RedMomma3: eat some pie, save a life
The pie was totally evil. And why do I say "dude" so often?
The Express does not take itself too seriously, and the last page has the celebrity news. For some reason, the headlines on this particular day were quite amusing so I have decided to share them with you.
On Angelina Jolie's pregnancy..."In Your Face, Aniston! Boo-Ya!" (
On the release of Colin Farrell's sex tape on the internet..."Site Shuts Down After Causing Mass Blindness" (under the heading "Gross")
On Eminem and his ex-wife reuniting..."No One Can Inspire Violent, Misogynistic Lyrics Like You Can"
On the arrest of former pop singer Lief Garret..."Ryan Cabrera's Future"
And because it's always good for a laugh, here is the IM conversation Moe, Caroline, and I had during last week's "Supernatural" (once again, centered on the hotness of Jensen Ackles and about an evil scarecrow that comes to life and kills people....you kinda had to be there)
MOPPYMOE: i am scared already
dissident1L: also, wasn't there already a hookman episode?
dissident1L: dude
dissident1L: pillow of fear.
MOPPYMOE: dude i couldnt get through the hook episode
dissident1L: i didn't even try.
dissident1L: ohhhh
dissident1L: i SEE!
dissident1L: it's totally gonna come alive and hook him
RedMomma3: OMG
RedMomma3: so scary
RedMomma3: why is he so freakin hot
dissident1L: what happened?
RedMomma3: and brave, he got right in that thing's face
MOPPYMOE: its unfair, there is only one of him and 15 million single women approximately his age that would jump his bones in an instant
dissident1L: yeah. b/c, blech, even if it wasn't eeeevil
RedMomma3: the scarecrow had a tatoo on its arm the dude did
dissident1L: SERIOUSLY
dissident1L: right. but did it, like, open its eeeevil eyes?
RedMomma3: so the dude is now the scarecrow
MOPPYMOE: i didnt see either, did it come alive again/.??
RedMomma3: sigh
RedMomma3: you two
dissident1L: what about the chick?
RedMomma3: she dead
dissident1L: maybe she's the wicked witch who cooks little lost children in her oven
MOPPYMOE: she doesnt get to be a freaky scarecrow??
dissident1L: brb -- need tostitos
RedMomma3: haha
RedMomma3: ok
RedMomma3: who gives a crap about smallville?
RedMomma3: now that Jensen isn't on I am surprised anyone even watches
MOPPYMOE: he was on smallville??
RedMomma3: yeah
MOPPYMOE: he was on something else that i used to watch and i couldnt for the life of me remember waht it was
MOPPYMOE: i dont remember him on it
dissident1L: oh, sigh.
dissident1L: this isn't the perfect-little-town-kept-alive-by-the-blood-of-virgins, is it?
MOPPYMOE: lets go to the orchard baby
RedMomma3: like that girl was a virgin
RedMomma3: bitch, please
dissident1L: HAHAHA
dissident1L: she sucks.
MOPPYMOE: duh bitch
dissident1L: BIG FUCKING SURPRISE YOU MORON
RedMomma3: her tooth is fucked up
MOPPYMOE: hahahaha
RedMomma3: it's all sticking out
RedMomma3: what a hobag
RedMomma3: did you see how she uncrossed her legs?
dissident1L: dude, you can't fuck HIM for a ride, he's at the bus station too!
RedMomma3: she's a succubus or something
dissident1L: snaggletooth
RedMomma3: seriously
MOPPYMOE: wasnt he just all upset that his girlfriend was dead
dissident1L: IT"S THE PIE!!!!
RedMomma3: evil pie
MOPPYMOE: oh my god!
dissident1L: I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S THE PIE
MOPPYMOE: u are so right!!
RedMomma3: maggie gylenhal look-alike
RedMomma3: sp?
MOPPYMOE: save them dean!!!
MOPPYMOE: take the pie
dissident1L: dude, she totally is!
MOPPYMOE: flush it!
RedMomma3: eat some pie, save a life
The pie was totally evil. And why do I say "dude" so often?
Monday, January 16, 2006
He had a dream, and I get the day off....seems fair.
Happy MLK day! Martin Luther King day is one of the best holidays. A great man who deserves to be remembered. And federal holidays mean the day off...whoo!
This has been quite an active weekend. On Saturday night I went to a DC staple, Brickskellers. It's a pub just outside Dupont Circle that has a beer list with over 100 selections. It was just like going back to my favorite pub in Scotland. I had the most amazing drink (it sounds gross but is delicious)it's half Guinness beer and half cider. Yum! Then I had a couple Blackthorne's...we were all kind of silly by the end of the night. Which was good because the walk back to the Metro was FREEZING. But I don't really remember all of it. So, that's a plus. And I got to see Jay, Carly, and Tony. Old school peeps hang out time! It's difficult making time for the high school friends, the college friends, and the law school friends. I have also learned that sometimes mixing groups does not go well.
Today I met up with Monique and we went to the National Archives. The best parts were the "Charters of Freedom." In the main rotunda are the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. Call me a history buff and a geek but there is something thrilling about seeing those historical documents. Dude, I saw John Adams' signature! ACK! Did I just squee over the founding fathers? I think I did. At least I own it.
Then we hit the Landmark E Street Cinema, THE place for independent movies in DC. I had never been there before, but it's nice. Dupont Circle theatre shows independent movies, but it's kind of squeevy. Like, that wet patch on the floor? Might be soda...might be something else. You just step over it and hope for the best. Moe and I saw "Pride and Prejudice" and it was just as awesome as the first time. Sometimes I can be such a girl. I sit through the whole thing with a grin on my face. Why can't we all speak in posh British accents and wear waistcoats and walk through the English countryside? I mean, if I lived in a place with those peaks and meadows I would be out there all the time walking around. Not sitting in my basement watching "Center Stage." It's no Hartfordshire.
All in all a lovely three day weekend. And there are more to come. I just signed up for the Alternate Work Schedule, which means I do 9 hour days and get every other Monday off. Y'all, if you get a chance to work for the federal government, TAKE IT.
Currently Reading: "Naked" by David Sedaris
Currently Watching: "Center Stage" best dance movie ever. But the Director's commentary sucks.
This has been quite an active weekend. On Saturday night I went to a DC staple, Brickskellers. It's a pub just outside Dupont Circle that has a beer list with over 100 selections. It was just like going back to my favorite pub in Scotland. I had the most amazing drink (it sounds gross but is delicious)it's half Guinness beer and half cider. Yum! Then I had a couple Blackthorne's...we were all kind of silly by the end of the night. Which was good because the walk back to the Metro was FREEZING. But I don't really remember all of it. So, that's a plus. And I got to see Jay, Carly, and Tony. Old school peeps hang out time! It's difficult making time for the high school friends, the college friends, and the law school friends. I have also learned that sometimes mixing groups does not go well.
Today I met up with Monique and we went to the National Archives. The best parts were the "Charters of Freedom." In the main rotunda are the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. Call me a history buff and a geek but there is something thrilling about seeing those historical documents. Dude, I saw John Adams' signature! ACK! Did I just squee over the founding fathers? I think I did. At least I own it.
Then we hit the Landmark E Street Cinema, THE place for independent movies in DC. I had never been there before, but it's nice. Dupont Circle theatre shows independent movies, but it's kind of squeevy. Like, that wet patch on the floor? Might be soda...might be something else. You just step over it and hope for the best. Moe and I saw "Pride and Prejudice" and it was just as awesome as the first time. Sometimes I can be such a girl. I sit through the whole thing with a grin on my face. Why can't we all speak in posh British accents and wear waistcoats and walk through the English countryside? I mean, if I lived in a place with those peaks and meadows I would be out there all the time walking around. Not sitting in my basement watching "Center Stage." It's no Hartfordshire.
All in all a lovely three day weekend. And there are more to come. I just signed up for the Alternate Work Schedule, which means I do 9 hour days and get every other Monday off. Y'all, if you get a chance to work for the federal government, TAKE IT.
Currently Reading: "Naked" by David Sedaris
Currently Watching: "Center Stage" best dance movie ever. But the Director's commentary sucks.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
God, Thy Name is Stewart, Jon
As I am sure you have all heard, Jon Stewart is hosting this year's Oscars. Woo! So I have Jon Stewart on the brain. And THEN I hear about David Letterman supposedly smacking down Bill O'Reilly. Which I thought was not really smacking, more of a light tap on the shoulder. As much as I dislike him, I had to give Bill credit for remaining calm and cool while the audience and Dave were clearly against him. But I digress.
Jon Stewart delivered the ultimate conservative smackdown in 2004 when he took down Tucker Carlson on CNN's now-defunct "Crossfire." I have a feeling "Crossfire" is no longer part of the tv schedule in no small part due to Jon's appearance. I had not seen the entire appearance until I stumbled over a clip, and it's awesome. I mean, seriously people. He is so rad.
Go Jon Go!
He starts off very nice, with his usual dry sense of humor. And he really doesn't get mean until Tucker says he's not funny. And you DO NOT call Jon Stewart un-funny. That is just wrong. And then the real smacking begins. Take THAT Tucker, you and your dumb bowtie. BOOM! POW! Very ala Batman the old tv series. I kept waiting for the moment when Jon would mount him and show him who's boss! Although that would not air on CNN, that would be more appropriately on pay-per-view. And you know I would pay for that shit.
In other news...Selvi has become quite sassy lately. Being on her own in Richmond has inspired her to become more independent. Now, the ever present dilemma. Do I rejoice in her newfound confidence or mourn her now absent hero-worshiping of me? I will choose.....rejoice! But only because my New Years resolution was to be a nicer person. You go Selvster! Don't take crap from anyone, including me! As she so eloquently put it last night, "A true alpha female would not need to tell everyone what she was." Touche, Selvi, touche. Bitch.
And now just because I have the technology and really how can I not share this:
Geez Jensen. Bore a hole in my soul with your eyes why don't you? That was for you Moe!
Currently Reading: "Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaimon
Currently Listening to: "It's Time" Michael Buble (pronounced boo-blay, say it--it's fun!)
Jon Stewart delivered the ultimate conservative smackdown in 2004 when he took down Tucker Carlson on CNN's now-defunct "Crossfire." I have a feeling "Crossfire" is no longer part of the tv schedule in no small part due to Jon's appearance. I had not seen the entire appearance until I stumbled over a clip, and it's awesome. I mean, seriously people. He is so rad.
Go Jon Go!
He starts off very nice, with his usual dry sense of humor. And he really doesn't get mean until Tucker says he's not funny. And you DO NOT call Jon Stewart un-funny. That is just wrong. And then the real smacking begins. Take THAT Tucker, you and your dumb bowtie. BOOM! POW! Very ala Batman the old tv series. I kept waiting for the moment when Jon would mount him and show him who's boss! Although that would not air on CNN, that would be more appropriately on pay-per-view. And you know I would pay for that shit.
In other news...Selvi has become quite sassy lately. Being on her own in Richmond has inspired her to become more independent. Now, the ever present dilemma. Do I rejoice in her newfound confidence or mourn her now absent hero-worshiping of me? I will choose.....rejoice! But only because my New Years resolution was to be a nicer person. You go Selvster! Don't take crap from anyone, including me! As she so eloquently put it last night, "A true alpha female would not need to tell everyone what she was." Touche, Selvi, touche. Bitch.
And now just because I have the technology and really how can I not share this:
Geez Jensen. Bore a hole in my soul with your eyes why don't you? That was for you Moe!
Currently Reading: "Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaimon
Currently Listening to: "It's Time" Michael Buble (pronounced boo-blay, say it--it's fun!)
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Road Trip
Just got back from Williamsburg, where I got to visit Carl! Yay Carl! I was a total bum and missed his birthday (which was in November) so I went down to have some fun and assuage my guilt. And Caroline came with, despite the fact she swore in blood never to return to the 'burg. And we had a great time. Woo!
Thus beginnith the rant of how I love Carl: because he knows what I am talking about when I say, "That's the chick from Poltergeist: The Legacy!" Because he drinks black currant cider (best ever y'all), because he listens to PotterCast, because he knows what an ISBN number is, because he will sing Rent with me in a hotel parking lot, and because I personify his SOUL! Thus endeth the rant.
While in Williamsburg, I stayed at the same hotel Chris and I stayed at a few weeks ago. And the same creepy front desk dude was there, with the same creepy trench coat. Everytime I go in there to see him, I feel like I'm interrupting his Dungeons and Dragons game or something. But, Big Apple Bagels makes everything better...yum jumbo muffins!
Caroline and I spent a lot of time last night talking about how we are lame now that we are old. I'll be 26 in less than a month, mark Feb. 3 on your calendars! But I figured it out. I had the same amount of fun starting drinking early and going to bed at midnight last night that I did being out until four in the morning in college. And I measure life in fun (and love of course) so I don't think we're lame. As long as we're having fun! Plus, in the morning we weren't super-tired, we weren't hung over, and my head wasn't in the toilet all day. So, I think we're going ok.
Currently Watching: Nip/Tuck pilot (from Netflix)
Currently Reading: Inkheart still (it's only been like two days, cut a sistah some slack)
Thus beginnith the rant of how I love Carl: because he knows what I am talking about when I say, "That's the chick from Poltergeist: The Legacy!" Because he drinks black currant cider (best ever y'all), because he listens to PotterCast, because he knows what an ISBN number is, because he will sing Rent with me in a hotel parking lot, and because I personify his SOUL! Thus endeth the rant.
While in Williamsburg, I stayed at the same hotel Chris and I stayed at a few weeks ago. And the same creepy front desk dude was there, with the same creepy trench coat. Everytime I go in there to see him, I feel like I'm interrupting his Dungeons and Dragons game or something. But, Big Apple Bagels makes everything better...yum jumbo muffins!
Caroline and I spent a lot of time last night talking about how we are lame now that we are old. I'll be 26 in less than a month, mark Feb. 3 on your calendars! But I figured it out. I had the same amount of fun starting drinking early and going to bed at midnight last night that I did being out until four in the morning in college. And I measure life in fun (and love of course) so I don't think we're lame. As long as we're having fun! Plus, in the morning we weren't super-tired, we weren't hung over, and my head wasn't in the toilet all day. So, I think we're going ok.
Currently Watching: Nip/Tuck pilot (from Netflix)
Currently Reading: Inkheart still (it's only been like two days, cut a sistah some slack)
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Life Is Better With Ketchup
Here we find ourselves, adrift in the first few days of 2006. How does it feel? A lot like 2005. Whether that is good or bad news I leave to you, gentle reader.
Yesterday marked my three month anniversary at work. Yay? No, definitely, yay. I had what was probably my first "hard" day at work. There is this one case that has been sitting on my desk for a week. Everyday I would change my mind as to how I wanted to write the decision; one day it would be a denial, the next I would want to remand it...and then my mentor (Dave, the mentor) came in and was all "oh, the correct answer is so obvious! It has been staring you in the face all this time!" Don't you hate it when people do that? It's just like when I can't find the ketchup in the fridge and Mom waltzes by and sees it in two seconds. ANYWAY, what Dave told me basically meant I had to rewrite the whole decision and I was on my third draft at this point. It was very annoying and I basically had a big five minute bitch fest and the I buckled down and did it. But it was my first big work freak out. Go me!
Oh, and the title of this entry refers to the t-shirt my mom got me for Christmas. I love me some ketchup! But not mustard. No, mustard is the devil's condiment.
Oh, and because people with live journals do it, I'm going to do it too:
Currently Watching: Best of So Graham Norton
Currently Reading: Inkheart, by Cornelia Funke (how awesome a name is that?)
Yesterday marked my three month anniversary at work. Yay? No, definitely, yay. I had what was probably my first "hard" day at work. There is this one case that has been sitting on my desk for a week. Everyday I would change my mind as to how I wanted to write the decision; one day it would be a denial, the next I would want to remand it...and then my mentor (Dave, the mentor) came in and was all "oh, the correct answer is so obvious! It has been staring you in the face all this time!" Don't you hate it when people do that? It's just like when I can't find the ketchup in the fridge and Mom waltzes by and sees it in two seconds. ANYWAY, what Dave told me basically meant I had to rewrite the whole decision and I was on my third draft at this point. It was very annoying and I basically had a big five minute bitch fest and the I buckled down and did it. But it was my first big work freak out. Go me!
Oh, and the title of this entry refers to the t-shirt my mom got me for Christmas. I love me some ketchup! But not mustard. No, mustard is the devil's condiment.
Oh, and because people with live journals do it, I'm going to do it too:
Currently Watching: Best of So Graham Norton
Currently Reading: Inkheart, by Cornelia Funke (how awesome a name is that?)
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
All I Want for Christmas is Veronica Mars
Y'all know I am a level-headed person. Ok, so maybe level-headed is not the best word to describe me...how about occasionally prone to rational thought? Anyhoo, call me crazy, but all I wanted this holiday was Veronica Mars Season 1 on DVD. AND I GOT IT.
As Linus pointed out, the true meaning of Christmas is remembering the birth of Jesus Christ. BOOOORING. The true meaning of Christmas is seeing family, reconnecting with friends, and getting loot. Not that I am materialistic. To quote Mr. Bill, "oooh noooo." But since I am so poor, I am dependent on the holidays to get me all the shit I can't afford myself. Those true necessities like the Dooney and Burke bag my mom gave me (!!!!). And Veronica Mars.
Because it really is the best show ever. EVER. Unfortunately, not that many people are watching it. It's on a semi-network (UPN) and so a lot of people discount it. But it's not too late! Season 1 is on DVD. So get it, watch it, and then the show will get picked up for more seasons and my future happiness will be assured.
But I must have other amusing stories about the holidays, right? Let's see...my brother Bill threw out his back lifting my Dad's 80 lb. christmas gift (it was a sander). Men. My mom has been walking on air since both her children have returned to the nest. My Dad feels bad about the sander incident and has been *gulp* nice since my brother got back.
Although I have to admit, my thoughts have been with my friends who have even more dysfunctional families. Stay strong you guys! This too shall pass.
Now if I can only make it to New Years! See my previous post....
PS: I think my use of caps in these posts is getting out of hand. I may need an intervention.
As Linus pointed out, the true meaning of Christmas is remembering the birth of Jesus Christ. BOOOORING. The true meaning of Christmas is seeing family, reconnecting with friends, and getting loot. Not that I am materialistic. To quote Mr. Bill, "oooh noooo." But since I am so poor, I am dependent on the holidays to get me all the shit I can't afford myself. Those true necessities like the Dooney and Burke bag my mom gave me (!!!!). And Veronica Mars.
Because it really is the best show ever. EVER. Unfortunately, not that many people are watching it. It's on a semi-network (UPN) and so a lot of people discount it. But it's not too late! Season 1 is on DVD. So get it, watch it, and then the show will get picked up for more seasons and my future happiness will be assured.
But I must have other amusing stories about the holidays, right? Let's see...my brother Bill threw out his back lifting my Dad's 80 lb. christmas gift (it was a sander). Men. My mom has been walking on air since both her children have returned to the nest. My Dad feels bad about the sander incident and has been *gulp* nice since my brother got back.
Although I have to admit, my thoughts have been with my friends who have even more dysfunctional families. Stay strong you guys! This too shall pass.
Now if I can only make it to New Years! See my previous post....
PS: I think my use of caps in these posts is getting out of hand. I may need an intervention.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Holy Panda, Batman!
Guess who just scored two tickets to go see the baby Panda at the National Zoo?? ME THAT'S WHO. Yes, ladies and gents, Caroline and I will be lining up to see the bouncing baby bear cub on January 25 at 12:40pm.
In related news: did you know that pandas aren't actually bears at all? They are members of the marsupial family, like koala bears. How interesting.
PANDA!!!!
In related news: did you know that pandas aren't actually bears at all? They are members of the marsupial family, like koala bears. How interesting.
PANDA!!!!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
5, 4, 3, oh who the fuck cares?
So. New Years is approaching. I gotta admit, I'm not a big New Years fan. Why you may ask?
1) It's always a letdown. You prep all night for this one moment and then it comes and is gone and it's just like every other moment! Lame.
2) I feel old. In the words of Dumbledore, "Another year....gone." I don't feel old on my birthdays, but I tend to get a wee bit depressed on New Years. I never feel like I have accomplished anything the previous year, and it always seems like the coming year will be more of the same.
3) Forced drinking and making out. Neither of which I am opposed to. But there's all this pressure on New Years to get wasted and kiss someone! And then if you don't do either of those two, it's like you failed. Stop pressuring me Dick Clark! STOP IT I SAY!
I am looking forward to going to Keith and Virginia's on New Years Eve and seeing all my law school peeps. But, I'll have to try to not be blue. I get the New Years Eve blues! In fact, this will be what I look like:
Seriously, how awesome is that picture? You can find the cutest pictures known to man at www.cuteoverload.com
Don't believe me? Try this one on for size:
OMG I think I will fall out of my chair and die from cuteness. I feel better already! Bring it on New Years Eve!
1) It's always a letdown. You prep all night for this one moment and then it comes and is gone and it's just like every other moment! Lame.
2) I feel old. In the words of Dumbledore, "Another year....gone." I don't feel old on my birthdays, but I tend to get a wee bit depressed on New Years. I never feel like I have accomplished anything the previous year, and it always seems like the coming year will be more of the same.
3) Forced drinking and making out. Neither of which I am opposed to. But there's all this pressure on New Years to get wasted and kiss someone! And then if you don't do either of those two, it's like you failed. Stop pressuring me Dick Clark! STOP IT I SAY!
I am looking forward to going to Keith and Virginia's on New Years Eve and seeing all my law school peeps. But, I'll have to try to not be blue. I get the New Years Eve blues! In fact, this will be what I look like:
Seriously, how awesome is that picture? You can find the cutest pictures known to man at www.cuteoverload.com
Don't believe me? Try this one on for size:
OMG I think I will fall out of my chair and die from cuteness. I feel better already! Bring it on New Years Eve!
Monday, December 19, 2005
Not The Usual Kegger
This past Saturday night I began what will hopefully become a new holiday tradition: the Maggie Holiday Party! I tried to make it a but classy, and I must say, I had no idea my friends could clean up so nice. Especially Jim with the sweater/collared shirt/tie combo. Nice!
The house looked gorgeous and the only thing that was sacrificed to the party gods was an everyday dinner plate. That I knocked over. Without realizing it. Although I swear Selvi was involved. *shakes fist* She's always out to get me!
My only complaint? My law school friends, whom I love to death, shut themselves into the den and didn't mingle at all. Except Caroline, but she drank a whole bottle of wine in like the first 10 minutes so it might have been subconscious socializing. It wouldn't have been a big deal that the lawyers didn't go talk to the other guests, except a lot of them (the other guests) mentioned they thought it was kind of rude and made them feel unwelcome. So I had to play the "I swear they are nice people!" role, which is of course a true statement, but whatcha gonna do. Despite this, everyone had a good time and ate all the food, thank god.
So people, one more year until my next classy par-tay. Until then, I promise to throw the typical low brow, beer swiggin, shindig we are all used to. But it's kind of nice to pretend we are all grown-up for one night out of the year.
Now if only Michale Buble would get his cute Canadian ass onto the Radio Music Awards I could go to bed happy. Damn you Canada!
PS: Goo Goo Dolls get the hell off my tv. You are so 1998.
The house looked gorgeous and the only thing that was sacrificed to the party gods was an everyday dinner plate. That I knocked over. Without realizing it. Although I swear Selvi was involved. *shakes fist* She's always out to get me!
My only complaint? My law school friends, whom I love to death, shut themselves into the den and didn't mingle at all. Except Caroline, but she drank a whole bottle of wine in like the first 10 minutes so it might have been subconscious socializing. It wouldn't have been a big deal that the lawyers didn't go talk to the other guests, except a lot of them (the other guests) mentioned they thought it was kind of rude and made them feel unwelcome. So I had to play the "I swear they are nice people!" role, which is of course a true statement, but whatcha gonna do. Despite this, everyone had a good time and ate all the food, thank god.
So people, one more year until my next classy par-tay. Until then, I promise to throw the typical low brow, beer swiggin, shindig we are all used to. But it's kind of nice to pretend we are all grown-up for one night out of the year.
Now if only Michale Buble would get his cute Canadian ass onto the Radio Music Awards I could go to bed happy. Damn you Canada!
PS: Goo Goo Dolls get the hell off my tv. You are so 1998.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Dude, Where's my House?
Don't you just love these dumb little quiz things? This one comes to you courtesy of
www.drawahouse.com
Here's what the house I designed said about me:
Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are good at making friends and when the joyful moment arrives, you make the most out of it. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.
You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.
You are not a romantic person by nature. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.
Ok, some hits, some misses. I wish I didn't think much about yourself, and tidy? I think not. Plus, I think I'm romantic! Fuck you drawahouse! But drawing the house on the website is fun! Whee!
www.drawahouse.com
Here's what the house I designed said about me:
Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are good at making friends and when the joyful moment arrives, you make the most out of it. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.
You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.
You are not a romantic person by nature. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.
Ok, some hits, some misses. I wish I didn't think much about yourself, and tidy? I think not. Plus, I think I'm romantic! Fuck you drawahouse! But drawing the house on the website is fun! Whee!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
So True
| Your 2005 Song Is |
 Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson "But since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time I'm so moving on" In 2005, you moved on. |
So true. No more school. Now, it's the real thing. And my New Year's Resolution?
NO MORE DRAMA.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Road Rules
This weekend marked a seminal event. Selvi's birthday! So us NOVA folk packed our bags and hit the road to celebrate in the most nerd-worthy fashion we could think of. Road trip to see Harry Potter on the IMAX, of course!
Saturday started off well. Chris, Kent, and Hehe all arrived. I (foolishly) volunteered to drive and we headed out of town. No traffic, thank the Lord. We then reached Richmond and grabbed the Selvster. Chris had made reservations in Williamsburg, since you know, it's cheap, and we checked into our sketchy yet affordable hotel around 6. Chris and I pretended to be a couple so they would think there were only two people staying in the room (in fact there were 5) and the equally sketchy and probably affordable twenty-something desk clerk chatted us up. And called me a trophy wife. Yay! And yet, hey! We dodged the time share salesman and quickly made it our room.
Then came the inevitable trip to mongolian. Best chinese food ever. Although, I now know way too much about everyone's bowels. It seemed every conversation we had this weekend was about someone bowels. Except for this one:
Selvi: Maggie, will you marry me?
Me: Hehe, how do you say, "Where's my ring cuntface" in Chinese?
Hehe: I don't know how to say "ring."
Selvi: (hysterical laughter)
Me: I'm putting that on my blog.
Selvi: You can't because I'm putting it on MY blog.
Me: Fine, then I'm putting THIS on my blog.
So take THAT Selvi! I'm the alpha female!
Us girls then made our way to the Green Leafe where we were hit on by the inevitable drunken sailors. Who ordered 7 martinis before getting kicked out. So we had free martinis! WOOHOO! Which would have been a lot better if any of us liked martinis *sob*
The next morning, we were Harry Potter bound. Which meant more driving, this time to Hampton. We were first in line (although we only got there 40 minutes early). This prompted one fellow movie-goer to inquire, "what time did you guys get here?" And we were all, whatever. We've only been here for 20 minutes. So fuck off.
Here's another conversational gem:
Me: Maybe we should go get our drinks now, before they open the doors.
Chris: But what if they open them as soon as we leave?
Me: The others will save us a spot though.
Chris: But I want a say in where we sit.
Me: Well, why don't you just...
Kent: This is Harry Potter people! GET IT TOGETHER!
Woah there Kent. I had no idea he was such a fan. Or maybe he was mocking us. Probably the later.
3 hours later, we emerged from the darkened six story theatre. Yo, that movie kicks so much ass. If you haven't seen it, go. It's the shit. And Dan Radcliffe is awesome. Dan, call me!
After the long drive home, I was pooped (ick, one more bowel joke!). But it was a weekend well spent. And of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SELVI!
Saturday started off well. Chris, Kent, and Hehe all arrived. I (foolishly) volunteered to drive and we headed out of town. No traffic, thank the Lord. We then reached Richmond and grabbed the Selvster. Chris had made reservations in Williamsburg, since you know, it's cheap, and we checked into our sketchy yet affordable hotel around 6. Chris and I pretended to be a couple so they would think there were only two people staying in the room (in fact there were 5) and the equally sketchy and probably affordable twenty-something desk clerk chatted us up. And called me a trophy wife. Yay! And yet, hey! We dodged the time share salesman and quickly made it our room.
Then came the inevitable trip to mongolian. Best chinese food ever. Although, I now know way too much about everyone's bowels. It seemed every conversation we had this weekend was about someone bowels. Except for this one:
Selvi: Maggie, will you marry me?
Me: Hehe, how do you say, "Where's my ring cuntface" in Chinese?
Hehe: I don't know how to say "ring."
Selvi: (hysterical laughter)
Me: I'm putting that on my blog.
Selvi: You can't because I'm putting it on MY blog.
Me: Fine, then I'm putting THIS on my blog.
So take THAT Selvi! I'm the alpha female!
Us girls then made our way to the Green Leafe where we were hit on by the inevitable drunken sailors. Who ordered 7 martinis before getting kicked out. So we had free martinis! WOOHOO! Which would have been a lot better if any of us liked martinis *sob*
The next morning, we were Harry Potter bound. Which meant more driving, this time to Hampton. We were first in line (although we only got there 40 minutes early). This prompted one fellow movie-goer to inquire, "what time did you guys get here?" And we were all, whatever. We've only been here for 20 minutes. So fuck off.
Here's another conversational gem:
Me: Maybe we should go get our drinks now, before they open the doors.
Chris: But what if they open them as soon as we leave?
Me: The others will save us a spot though.
Chris: But I want a say in where we sit.
Me: Well, why don't you just...
Kent: This is Harry Potter people! GET IT TOGETHER!
Woah there Kent. I had no idea he was such a fan. Or maybe he was mocking us. Probably the later.
3 hours later, we emerged from the darkened six story theatre. Yo, that movie kicks so much ass. If you haven't seen it, go. It's the shit. And Dan Radcliffe is awesome. Dan, call me!
After the long drive home, I was pooped (ick, one more bowel joke!). But it was a weekend well spent. And of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SELVI!
Monday, November 28, 2005
Does This Make Me A Toys-R-Us Kid?
I officially have the emotional capabilities of a 12 year old. My first tip-off? I go to a party and talk to a guy. Am I interested? I dunno. But then I see him talking to some other chick. Oh, no he DIDN'T! Bitch, you better STEP OFF. See, I only like him when I see him talking to someone else. This = immature.
Another clue presented itself this morning at work. While writing up a decision for a case dealing with a low back disability I write the sentence, "the veteran experiences morning stiffness and exacerbation when coughing and sneezing." After writing "morning stiffness," I dissolve into giggles prompting co-workers to inquire after my sanity. See? But come on, "morning stiffness??" How's a girl supposed to let that go.
And finally, my Harry Potter addiction. Whenever the new movie comes out, I always go into this HP mode where I must rewatch all the other movies and read the books. I need help people. But not as much help as this person. But I can't deny it, Dan Radcliffe is turning into a hottie.
See??!? Emotional capacity of a 12 YEAR OLD!
Another clue presented itself this morning at work. While writing up a decision for a case dealing with a low back disability I write the sentence, "the veteran experiences morning stiffness and exacerbation when coughing and sneezing." After writing "morning stiffness," I dissolve into giggles prompting co-workers to inquire after my sanity. See? But come on, "morning stiffness??" How's a girl supposed to let that go.
And finally, my Harry Potter addiction. Whenever the new movie comes out, I always go into this HP mode where I must rewatch all the other movies and read the books. I need help people. But not as much help as this person. But I can't deny it, Dan Radcliffe is turning into a hottie.
See??!? Emotional capacity of a 12 YEAR OLD!
Friday, November 18, 2005
Bitch Going Down!
Caroline and I have this ritual. Wednesday nights Veronica Mars is on UPN and I watch it at my Dad's. When I come home Caroline has left my multiple instant messages about the show and what happened. Then we fight for about 30 minutes over who gets to have Logan as her sex slave. Here is a sample:
(some helpful hints--Logan is Veronica's ex-boyfriend on the show played by Jason Dohring, Duncan is her current (not hot) boyfriend whom we call Donut, and Dean is a smokin guy on Supernatural played by Jensen Ackles-oh and Caroline gets scared of Supernatural so she blockes the tv with a pillow-what a pussy)
dissident1L: also, i am in love with jason dorhing
RedMomma3: I have been in lvoe with him since last year
dissident1L: oh, man.
dissident1L: yeah. caroline lurrrrrrves logan
RedMomma3: he is so hot
RedMomma3: and so funny
dissident1L: like, his muscles, in that dip-dyed shirt?
dissident1L: be still my heart.
dissident1L: and no pit stains!
RedMomma3: ok, yeah, but ugliest sweatshirt ever
dissident1L: but the muscles
RedMomma3: yeah he is ripped
RedMomma3: he just has HUGE upper arms
RedMomma3: it's awesome
dissident1L: YES. YES IT IS.
RedMomma3: I think he worked out over the summer
dissident1L: he totally did!
RedMomma3: they probably told him he would have towel scenes
dissident1L: i melt in the face of upper arms like his
dissident1L: once dated a drummer -- ruined me for everyone else.
dissident1L: ...but logan
dissident1L: HAHAH
dissident1L: MORE TOWEL!LOGAN!!
RedMomma3: and on SN too....shirtless JENSEN!
RedMomma3: OMG
dissident1L: haha
RedMomma3: shirtless Jensen and Logan together!!!
RedMomma3: (swoon)
dissident1L: see, harder to get behind that b/c ... can't watch the show
RedMomma3: yes, you can
RedMomma3: you must concentrate on the pretty
dissident1L: Pillow of Fear
dissident1L: not that hot
RedMomma3: I love the pillow of fear
RedMomma3: that was awesome
dissident1L: see, i can't focus on the pretty
RedMomma3: Moe even watched it
RedMomma3: if she can watch it, so can you
dissident1L: she is stronger than i
RedMomma3: she IMed me this evening
RedMomma3: she was like "omg I was so scared but Dean was so hot"
dissident1L: hahaha
dissident1L: see, this is the beauty of logan -- all the hottness, none of the fear
RedMomma3: whatever
RedMomma3: I hate to say it
RedMomma3: but I think Dean is hotter
RedMomma3: and more badass
RedMomma3: but Logan was my first true love
dissident1L: DUDE.
dissident1L: dean is all yours
dissident1L: i claim logan
dissident1L: even if he is a minor
dissident1L: he's emancipated!!
dissident1L: fair game!!
dissident1L: and... when did they get emancipated exactly?
RedMomma3: he is not a minor
RedMomma3: he's really married
RedMomma3: and I had him first
dissident1L: yeah. he has a kid.
RedMomma3: I get him and Dean
dissident1L: you've got dean!!
RedMomma3: you can have Donut
dissident1L: NO
dissident1L: LOGAN IS MINE
RedMomma3: whatever bitch
dissident1L: donut is gross
RedMomma3: I destroy you
dissident1L: you can have dean AND the other one
dissident1L: LOGAN IS MIIIINE
RedMomma3: GET YOUR MITTS OFF
dissident1L: OH, THE CLAWS COME OUT
RedMomma3: pish
RedMomma3: more like talons
RedMomma3: ok, I am going to go to bed
dissident1L: I WILL END YOU
dissident1L: okay.
RedMomma3: we can continue this on Friday
dissident1L: sweet dreams!
dissident1L: HAHA
RedMomma3: bitch, I will leave you in the maze
dissident1L: or, tomorrow over e-mail
dissident1L: I WILL SUFFOCATE YOU WITH THE PILLOW OF FEAR
dissident1L: FEAR THE PILLOW
dissident1L: MWAH HAH HAH
RedMomma3: I own the pillow
RedMomma3: the pillow is my bitch!
dissident1L: yeah, but i own the pillow
dissident1L: the pillow is MINE
dissident1L: i got the trademark on that shit!!
RedMomma3: the original pillow of fear was all MINE
RedMomma3: in fact, I am looking at it right now
RedMomma3: oh, SNAP
dissident1L: your pillow was NOTHING. I made it the Pillow of FEAR
RedMomma3: your pussy attitude made it so
dissident1L: I CREATED IT
RedMomma3: Logan could never be with such a pussy
RedMomma3: he needs a real woman
dissident1L: ... do i have to even fill in that blank?
dissident1L: HAH
RedMomma3: I think I need to save this conversation
RedMomma3: it is too funny not to share
dissident1L: he needs someone to appreciate his biceps
dissident1L: HAHA
(some helpful hints--Logan is Veronica's ex-boyfriend on the show played by Jason Dohring, Duncan is her current (not hot) boyfriend whom we call Donut, and Dean is a smokin guy on Supernatural played by Jensen Ackles-oh and Caroline gets scared of Supernatural so she blockes the tv with a pillow-what a pussy)
dissident1L: also, i am in love with jason dorhing
RedMomma3: I have been in lvoe with him since last year
dissident1L: oh, man.
dissident1L: yeah. caroline lurrrrrrves logan
RedMomma3: he is so hot
RedMomma3: and so funny
dissident1L: like, his muscles, in that dip-dyed shirt?
dissident1L: be still my heart.
dissident1L: and no pit stains!
RedMomma3: ok, yeah, but ugliest sweatshirt ever
dissident1L: but the muscles
RedMomma3: yeah he is ripped
RedMomma3: he just has HUGE upper arms
RedMomma3: it's awesome
dissident1L: YES. YES IT IS.
RedMomma3: I think he worked out over the summer
dissident1L: he totally did!
RedMomma3: they probably told him he would have towel scenes
dissident1L: i melt in the face of upper arms like his
dissident1L: once dated a drummer -- ruined me for everyone else.
dissident1L: ...but logan
dissident1L: HAHAH
dissident1L: MORE TOWEL!LOGAN!!
RedMomma3: and on SN too....shirtless JENSEN!
RedMomma3: OMG
dissident1L: haha
RedMomma3: shirtless Jensen and Logan together!!!
RedMomma3: (swoon)
dissident1L: see, harder to get behind that b/c ... can't watch the show
RedMomma3: yes, you can
RedMomma3: you must concentrate on the pretty
dissident1L: Pillow of Fear
dissident1L: not that hot
RedMomma3: I love the pillow of fear
RedMomma3: that was awesome
dissident1L: see, i can't focus on the pretty
RedMomma3: Moe even watched it
RedMomma3: if she can watch it, so can you
dissident1L: she is stronger than i
RedMomma3: she IMed me this evening
RedMomma3: she was like "omg I was so scared but Dean was so hot"
dissident1L: hahaha
dissident1L: see, this is the beauty of logan -- all the hottness, none of the fear
RedMomma3: whatever
RedMomma3: I hate to say it
RedMomma3: but I think Dean is hotter
RedMomma3: and more badass
RedMomma3: but Logan was my first true love
dissident1L: DUDE.
dissident1L: dean is all yours
dissident1L: i claim logan
dissident1L: even if he is a minor
dissident1L: he's emancipated!!
dissident1L: fair game!!
dissident1L: and... when did they get emancipated exactly?
RedMomma3: he is not a minor
RedMomma3: he's really married
RedMomma3: and I had him first
dissident1L: yeah. he has a kid.
RedMomma3: I get him and Dean
dissident1L: you've got dean!!
RedMomma3: you can have Donut
dissident1L: NO
dissident1L: LOGAN IS MINE
RedMomma3: whatever bitch
dissident1L: donut is gross
RedMomma3: I destroy you
dissident1L: you can have dean AND the other one
dissident1L: LOGAN IS MIIIINE
RedMomma3: GET YOUR MITTS OFF
dissident1L: OH, THE CLAWS COME OUT
RedMomma3: pish
RedMomma3: more like talons
RedMomma3: ok, I am going to go to bed
dissident1L: I WILL END YOU
dissident1L: okay.
RedMomma3: we can continue this on Friday
dissident1L: sweet dreams!
dissident1L: HAHA
RedMomma3: bitch, I will leave you in the maze
dissident1L: or, tomorrow over e-mail
dissident1L: I WILL SUFFOCATE YOU WITH THE PILLOW OF FEAR
dissident1L: FEAR THE PILLOW
dissident1L: MWAH HAH HAH
RedMomma3: I own the pillow
RedMomma3: the pillow is my bitch!
dissident1L: yeah, but i own the pillow
dissident1L: the pillow is MINE
dissident1L: i got the trademark on that shit!!
RedMomma3: the original pillow of fear was all MINE
RedMomma3: in fact, I am looking at it right now
RedMomma3: oh, SNAP
dissident1L: your pillow was NOTHING. I made it the Pillow of FEAR
RedMomma3: your pussy attitude made it so
dissident1L: I CREATED IT
RedMomma3: Logan could never be with such a pussy
RedMomma3: he needs a real woman
dissident1L: ... do i have to even fill in that blank?
dissident1L: HAH
RedMomma3: I think I need to save this conversation
RedMomma3: it is too funny not to share
dissident1L: he needs someone to appreciate his biceps
dissident1L: HAHA
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Psycho-Babble
I was in the devil's bookstore the other day (a.k.a Barnes and Noble) and I walked past one of the self-help display tables. And I had a thought ("a dangerous past-time, I know"). It was a book about relationships and how the lack of a poor father figure, blah blah bleepidy boo. Could my lack of a long-term relationship be due to the example of my parents who have been divorced since I was one year old?
Hmmm. Food for thought. After all, I didn't really had an example of a normal relationship in my formative years. Grandparents had been widowed, parents divorced, crazy Aunt married three times, etc. My Dad is now happily remarried, but let's face it, they are both weird. So how much stock should I put in the example set by my family with my current relationship woes?
I usually adhere to the philosophy that people make their own destinies. And I think while it is telling I haven't had a good example of a lasting couple in my youth, I can't help but say, so what? Screw that, I'm not going to let my parents' mistakes fuck me over. So what if I have trust issues? So what if I haven't had a relationship last longer than a few dates? WHATEVER psychobabble. If Tom Cruise thinks you are full of shit, that's good enough for me!
PS: Tom Cruise is also crazy and should not be trusted when making personal choices.
Hmmm. Food for thought. After all, I didn't really had an example of a normal relationship in my formative years. Grandparents had been widowed, parents divorced, crazy Aunt married three times, etc. My Dad is now happily remarried, but let's face it, they are both weird. So how much stock should I put in the example set by my family with my current relationship woes?
I usually adhere to the philosophy that people make their own destinies. And I think while it is telling I haven't had a good example of a lasting couple in my youth, I can't help but say, so what? Screw that, I'm not going to let my parents' mistakes fuck me over. So what if I have trust issues? So what if I haven't had a relationship last longer than a few dates? WHATEVER psychobabble. If Tom Cruise thinks you are full of shit, that's good enough for me!
PS: Tom Cruise is also crazy and should not be trusted when making personal choices.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Associate Counsel's Checklist
Before going in to see my judge (and probably get told why I'm wrong regarding something), I find it useful to go through the following checklist:
1) Review case I am being called in about (so I don't give the typical Maggie blank look)
2) Zipper up
3) Hair not in face
4) Food not in teeth
5) Nose clean
6) Boobs not popping out
With this short checklist, any attorney can feel like a true professional. It leaves me free to focus on what I will be talking about and not worrying about how I look!
1) Review case I am being called in about (so I don't give the typical Maggie blank look)
2) Zipper up
3) Hair not in face
4) Food not in teeth
5) Nose clean
6) Boobs not popping out
With this short checklist, any attorney can feel like a true professional. It leaves me free to focus on what I will be talking about and not worrying about how I look!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Hall-O-My God I'm a Real Lawyer!
This Halloween, in addition to the usual sugar buzz and hijinks, I had the (dubious) honor of being sworn in as a member of the Virginia State Bar. Wow. So, like, I'm legal and shit. If you get in trouble call me! *thumbs up sign*
The dream team, consisting of Josh, Will, Caroline, and myself, loaded up in the car and drove to Richmond on Monday morning. We then stood around for an hour. Then we sat for an hour and were talked to. And then we sat for another hour while they read the names of everyone being sworn in. EVERYONE. All 950 names. Imagine your high school graduation, the really boring part, and imagine it lasting forever. We played tic tac toe, hangman, even MASH (all the girls know that one). We then stood up and said "I do" after the clerk read the 30 second oath. Seriously, to quote Xander, "big orchestra, little show." And that was it!
We then all gathered at the Casa Riley for some Halloweeniness. I had just purchased the collector's edition of Evil Dead 2 (awesome!) and we passed out candy to all the little rugrats. Seriously though, a bunch of these kids would just stand there and hold out their plastic pumpkins with this expectant look. And I was like, "are you gonna say it?" and then they would mumble "trick-or-treat." You got to WORK for candy at my house, I'm not going to just give it out willy nilly. Especially not the kit kats. MINE!
Thankfully, there were no injuries even though we gave Will the knives to carve the pumpkin. And Caroline had already sliced her arm open the day before so the obligatory blood quotient for the holiday had been met. All in all a successful halloween. One of my favorite holidays. I never thought I would say it, but I am kinda chocolate-outed. So much sweet food! Impending sugar coma....ghargh....
The dream team, consisting of Josh, Will, Caroline, and myself, loaded up in the car and drove to Richmond on Monday morning. We then stood around for an hour. Then we sat for an hour and were talked to. And then we sat for another hour while they read the names of everyone being sworn in. EVERYONE. All 950 names. Imagine your high school graduation, the really boring part, and imagine it lasting forever. We played tic tac toe, hangman, even MASH (all the girls know that one). We then stood up and said "I do" after the clerk read the 30 second oath. Seriously, to quote Xander, "big orchestra, little show." And that was it!
We then all gathered at the Casa Riley for some Halloweeniness. I had just purchased the collector's edition of Evil Dead 2 (awesome!) and we passed out candy to all the little rugrats. Seriously though, a bunch of these kids would just stand there and hold out their plastic pumpkins with this expectant look. And I was like, "are you gonna say it?" and then they would mumble "trick-or-treat." You got to WORK for candy at my house, I'm not going to just give it out willy nilly. Especially not the kit kats. MINE!
Thankfully, there were no injuries even though we gave Will the knives to carve the pumpkin. And Caroline had already sliced her arm open the day before so the obligatory blood quotient for the holiday had been met. All in all a successful halloween. One of my favorite holidays. I never thought I would say it, but I am kinda chocolate-outed. So much sweet food! Impending sugar coma....ghargh....
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