As my birthday approaches (February 3, mark your calendars!), I become more and more concerned with things related to it (duh). So as I flipped through my In Style magazine at lunch, I actually read my horoscope. Here is what their astrologer had to say for Aquarius (the water bearer...like, thanks, for telling everyone I retain water, magazine people).


Aquarius Profile

You're quirky, outgoing, creative, and practically immune to peer pressure. On the other hand, focusing so intensely on your pet projects can leave your loved ones feeling neglected. Daring and original, you have a knack for creating your own look by mixing clothes in unexpected ways. Others admire your playfulness and confidence. Flirting comes naturally to bold Aquarians, but when faced with divulging true feelings, you use extreme caution. Beware you don't come off as aloof while trying to guard your fragile heart from harm.

It seems pretty close to the mark. I am definitely quirky. But here are the celebrity examples they give for Aquarius: Mischa Barton, Sheryl Crow, and PARIS HILTON. Ugh! I cannot imagine three people I am more dissimilar to. Blech!

In the goods news category, Arista and I are going to see Michael Buble perform at DAR Constitution Hall in March. So awesome! He is so adorable and has such an amazing voice, I am even willing to forgive him for being Canadian. I mean, people can't help where they're born, right? And if he was American, he probably wouldn't have such an awesome name. Boo-blay...it just rolls off the tongue.

Currently Reading: "Artemis Fowl" by Eoin Colfer

Currently Listening To: "Innocent Man" Billy Joel (can you believe nobody wants to go with me to see his concert in April?)

Move Over Versace

There are many people in the world who would make excellent fashion icons. But just because someone is famous, it does not mean the world should seek to emulate their fashion style. For example, nobody should try to dress like the following people: Kirsten Dunst, Sienna Miller, either of the Olson Twins, Michael Madsen, Madonna, Johnny Depp, Dick Cheney, Condoleeza Rice, anybody from the 1970s.

But someone has gone a step further. There I was, walking the two blocks to Au Bon Pain to get a delicious bagel and I spy with my little eye someone taking their fashion cues from JACK FUCKING ABRAMOFF. That's right, some random business man was wearing the Abramoff classic.

Now, in case you live outside the Metro area and are ignorant as to who I mean, I will elaborate. Jack Abramoff is the lobbyist who is currently being prosecuted/persecuted (hee) for bribing Congressmen with trips to Scotland, cash, and all sorts of pork products. And this is how he dresses for court:



I just...don't...what...why...WTF, random business man on street, WTF? He had it all folks, the black trench coat, the fedora placed just so it would cover his shifty eyes...what was he thinking? If we as a culture have learned anything in the past ten years it is that big trench coats do not inspire confidence, in fact they usually make people want to search you for weapons. So why would you choose to model yourself after the man who has come to represent all that is corrupt with DC? I thought about crossing to the other side of the street when I saw this guy coming because it was so disconcerting.

So be on the look-out folks. New for spring 2006: the trench coat/fedora combo. Just what every well-dressed crook will be wearing.

Currently Reading: "Knife of Dreams", by Robert Jordan (he's back on track!)

Currently Listening to: "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Soundtrack"

Short and Sweet

This will be a short post, as not much has happened lately in the land of Maggie. My morning ritual involves waking before 6 a.m. and driving to the metro station. As soon as I alight onto the platform, the train leaves. Thanks, douchebag driver. So I stand on the (freezing) platform and read my Washington Post Express. For those of you not from the area, this is a smallish paper devoted to the local, world, and national news and is aimed at a younger reading audience. Oh, and it's free. Sweet!

The Express does not take itself too seriously, and the last page has the celebrity news. For some reason, the headlines on this particular day were quite amusing so I have decided to share them with you.

On Angelina Jolie's pregnancy..."In Your Face, Aniston! Boo-Ya!" (

On the release of Colin Farrell's sex tape on the internet..."Site Shuts Down After Causing Mass Blindness" (under the heading "Gross")

On Eminem and his ex-wife reuniting..."No One Can Inspire Violent, Misogynistic Lyrics Like You Can"

On the arrest of former pop singer Lief Garret..."Ryan Cabrera's Future"

And because it's always good for a laugh, here is the IM conversation Moe, Caroline, and I had during last week's "Supernatural" (once again, centered on the hotness of Jensen Ackles and about an evil scarecrow that comes to life and kills people....you kinda had to be there)

MOPPYMOE: i am scared already
dissident1L: also, wasn't there already a hookman episode?
dissident1L: dude
dissident1L: pillow of fear.
MOPPYMOE: dude i couldnt get through the hook episode
dissident1L: i didn't even try.
dissident1L: ohhhh
dissident1L: i SEE!
dissident1L: it's totally gonna come alive and hook him
RedMomma3: OMG
RedMomma3: so scary
RedMomma3: why is he so freakin hot
dissident1L: what happened?
RedMomma3: and brave, he got right in that thing's face
MOPPYMOE: its unfair, there is only one of him and 15 million single women approximately his age that would jump his bones in an instant
dissident1L: yeah. b/c, blech, even if it wasn't eeeevil
RedMomma3: the scarecrow had a tatoo on its arm the dude did
dissident1L: SERIOUSLY
dissident1L: right. but did it, like, open its eeeevil eyes?
RedMomma3: so the dude is now the scarecrow
MOPPYMOE: i didnt see either, did it come alive again/.??
RedMomma3: sigh
RedMomma3: you two
dissident1L: what about the chick?
RedMomma3: she dead
dissident1L: maybe she's the wicked witch who cooks little lost children in her oven
MOPPYMOE: she doesnt get to be a freaky scarecrow??
dissident1L: brb -- need tostitos
RedMomma3: haha
RedMomma3: ok
RedMomma3: who gives a crap about smallville?
RedMomma3: now that Jensen isn't on I am surprised anyone even watches
MOPPYMOE: he was on smallville??
RedMomma3: yeah
MOPPYMOE: he was on something else that i used to watch and i couldnt for the life of me remember waht it was
MOPPYMOE: i dont remember him on it
dissident1L: oh, sigh.
dissident1L: this isn't the perfect-little-town-kept-alive-by-the-blood-of-virgins, is it?
MOPPYMOE: lets go to the orchard baby
RedMomma3: like that girl was a virgin
RedMomma3: bitch, please
dissident1L: HAHAHA
dissident1L: she sucks.
MOPPYMOE: duh bitch
dissident1L: BIG FUCKING SURPRISE YOU MORON
RedMomma3: her tooth is fucked up
MOPPYMOE: hahahaha
RedMomma3: it's all sticking out
RedMomma3: what a hobag
RedMomma3: did you see how she uncrossed her legs?
dissident1L: dude, you can't fuck HIM for a ride, he's at the bus station too!
RedMomma3: she's a succubus or something
dissident1L: snaggletooth
RedMomma3: seriously
MOPPYMOE: wasnt he just all upset that his girlfriend was dead
dissident1L: IT"S THE PIE!!!!
RedMomma3: evil pie
MOPPYMOE: oh my god!
dissident1L: I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S THE PIE
MOPPYMOE: u are so right!!
RedMomma3: maggie gylenhal look-alike
RedMomma3: sp?
MOPPYMOE: save them dean!!!
MOPPYMOE: take the pie
dissident1L: dude, she totally is!
MOPPYMOE: flush it!
RedMomma3: eat some pie, save a life

The pie was totally evil. And why do I say "dude" so often?

He had a dream, and I get the day off....seems fair.

Happy MLK day! Martin Luther King day is one of the best holidays. A great man who deserves to be remembered. And federal holidays mean the day off...whoo!

This has been quite an active weekend. On Saturday night I went to a DC staple, Brickskellers. It's a pub just outside Dupont Circle that has a beer list with over 100 selections. It was just like going back to my favorite pub in Scotland. I had the most amazing drink (it sounds gross but is delicious)it's half Guinness beer and half cider. Yum! Then I had a couple Blackthorne's...we were all kind of silly by the end of the night. Which was good because the walk back to the Metro was FREEZING. But I don't really remember all of it. So, that's a plus. And I got to see Jay, Carly, and Tony. Old school peeps hang out time! It's difficult making time for the high school friends, the college friends, and the law school friends. I have also learned that sometimes mixing groups does not go well.

Today I met up with Monique and we went to the National Archives. The best parts were the "Charters of Freedom." In the main rotunda are the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. Call me a history buff and a geek but there is something thrilling about seeing those historical documents. Dude, I saw John Adams' signature! ACK! Did I just squee over the founding fathers? I think I did. At least I own it.

Then we hit the Landmark E Street Cinema, THE place for independent movies in DC. I had never been there before, but it's nice. Dupont Circle theatre shows independent movies, but it's kind of squeevy. Like, that wet patch on the floor? Might be soda...might be something else. You just step over it and hope for the best. Moe and I saw "Pride and Prejudice" and it was just as awesome as the first time. Sometimes I can be such a girl. I sit through the whole thing with a grin on my face. Why can't we all speak in posh British accents and wear waistcoats and walk through the English countryside? I mean, if I lived in a place with those peaks and meadows I would be out there all the time walking around. Not sitting in my basement watching "Center Stage." It's no Hartfordshire.

All in all a lovely three day weekend. And there are more to come. I just signed up for the Alternate Work Schedule, which means I do 9 hour days and get every other Monday off. Y'all, if you get a chance to work for the federal government, TAKE IT.

Currently Reading: "Naked" by David Sedaris

Currently Watching: "Center Stage" best dance movie ever. But the Director's commentary sucks.

God, Thy Name is Stewart, Jon

As I am sure you have all heard, Jon Stewart is hosting this year's Oscars. Woo! So I have Jon Stewart on the brain. And THEN I hear about David Letterman supposedly smacking down Bill O'Reilly. Which I thought was not really smacking, more of a light tap on the shoulder. As much as I dislike him, I had to give Bill credit for remaining calm and cool while the audience and Dave were clearly against him. But I digress.

Jon Stewart delivered the ultimate conservative smackdown in 2004 when he took down Tucker Carlson on CNN's now-defunct "Crossfire." I have a feeling "Crossfire" is no longer part of the tv schedule in no small part due to Jon's appearance. I had not seen the entire appearance until I stumbled over a clip, and it's awesome. I mean, seriously people. He is so rad.

Go Jon Go!

He starts off very nice, with his usual dry sense of humor. And he really doesn't get mean until Tucker says he's not funny. And you DO NOT call Jon Stewart un-funny. That is just wrong. And then the real smacking begins. Take THAT Tucker, you and your dumb bowtie. BOOM! POW! Very ala Batman the old tv series. I kept waiting for the moment when Jon would mount him and show him who's boss! Although that would not air on CNN, that would be more appropriately on pay-per-view. And you know I would pay for that shit.

In other news...Selvi has become quite sassy lately. Being on her own in Richmond has inspired her to become more independent. Now, the ever present dilemma. Do I rejoice in her newfound confidence or mourn her now absent hero-worshiping of me? I will choose.....rejoice! But only because my New Years resolution was to be a nicer person. You go Selvster! Don't take crap from anyone, including me! As she so eloquently put it last night, "A true alpha female would not need to tell everyone what she was." Touche, Selvi, touche. Bitch.

And now just because I have the technology and really how can I not share this:



Geez Jensen. Bore a hole in my soul with your eyes why don't you? That was for you Moe!

Currently Reading: "Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaimon

Currently Listening to: "It's Time" Michael Buble (pronounced boo-blay, say it--it's fun!)

Road Trip

Just got back from Williamsburg, where I got to visit Carl! Yay Carl! I was a total bum and missed his birthday (which was in November) so I went down to have some fun and assuage my guilt. And Caroline came with, despite the fact she swore in blood never to return to the 'burg. And we had a great time. Woo!

Thus beginnith the rant of how I love Carl: because he knows what I am talking about when I say, "That's the chick from Poltergeist: The Legacy!" Because he drinks black currant cider (best ever y'all), because he listens to PotterCast, because he knows what an ISBN number is, because he will sing Rent with me in a hotel parking lot, and because I personify his SOUL! Thus endeth the rant.

While in Williamsburg, I stayed at the same hotel Chris and I stayed at a few weeks ago. And the same creepy front desk dude was there, with the same creepy trench coat. Everytime I go in there to see him, I feel like I'm interrupting his Dungeons and Dragons game or something. But, Big Apple Bagels makes everything better...yum jumbo muffins!

Caroline and I spent a lot of time last night talking about how we are lame now that we are old. I'll be 26 in less than a month, mark Feb. 3 on your calendars! But I figured it out. I had the same amount of fun starting drinking early and going to bed at midnight last night that I did being out until four in the morning in college. And I measure life in fun (and love of course) so I don't think we're lame. As long as we're having fun! Plus, in the morning we weren't super-tired, we weren't hung over, and my head wasn't in the toilet all day. So, I think we're going ok.

Currently Watching: Nip/Tuck pilot (from Netflix)
Currently Reading: Inkheart still (it's only been like two days, cut a sistah some slack)

Life Is Better With Ketchup

Here we find ourselves, adrift in the first few days of 2006. How does it feel? A lot like 2005. Whether that is good or bad news I leave to you, gentle reader.

Yesterday marked my three month anniversary at work. Yay? No, definitely, yay. I had what was probably my first "hard" day at work. There is this one case that has been sitting on my desk for a week. Everyday I would change my mind as to how I wanted to write the decision; one day it would be a denial, the next I would want to remand it...and then my mentor (Dave, the mentor) came in and was all "oh, the correct answer is so obvious! It has been staring you in the face all this time!" Don't you hate it when people do that? It's just like when I can't find the ketchup in the fridge and Mom waltzes by and sees it in two seconds. ANYWAY, what Dave told me basically meant I had to rewrite the whole decision and I was on my third draft at this point. It was very annoying and I basically had a big five minute bitch fest and the I buckled down and did it. But it was my first big work freak out. Go me!

Oh, and the title of this entry refers to the t-shirt my mom got me for Christmas. I love me some ketchup! But not mustard. No, mustard is the devil's condiment.

Oh, and because people with live journals do it, I'm going to do it too:

Currently Watching: Best of So Graham Norton
Currently Reading: Inkheart, by Cornelia Funke (how awesome a name is that?)