Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Tryptophan, HO!

Thankgiving has come and gone, and the holiday season is now in full swing. I wish I could say the spirit of the season is upon me, but to be honest, it doesn’t feel like almost-Christmas at all. Maybe it has something to do with the upheaval from my moving into my own place and my lack of decorations, but I just can’t jump on board the Xmas train. Perhaps I will put up some Christmas lights or something tonight. That will help.

So turkey day and the Amanda invasion of 2006 has come and gone. For those of you not keeping up with the intimate details of my life 24-7, my brother has been dating my good friend from high school Amanda for almost a year now. While this has resulted in its moments of weirdness for me, Amanda spent the entire week with the Riley clan for Thanksgiving and I am very happy to say she fit right in (although she is a bit more normal than the rest of us) and it wasn’t weird at all. In fact, it seemed strangely normal to have her there. What if she and my brother get married?? That would be kinda cool actually, but I hope they don’t do the married couple joined-at-the-hip thing. I love Amanda, but I also like spending quality sibling time alone with my brother. I was talking to my Grandmother about it, and I think I figured out that Bill and I are so close because when we were kids with our parents being divorced, we spent so much time being shuffled around together and we were always there for one another. When we weren’t fighting that is. So I need my Bill alone time. But between the two of us girls, Bill will be the sharpest dressed engineer at Ford, or wherever he ends up working.

Currently Reading: “Bridge to Terabithia” by Katherine Paterson

Currently Watching: Veronica Mars rape case finale! Best show on tv, y’all.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Two Week Round-Up

Two weeks ago (where does the time go?), I had hosted my housewarming and popped the cherry on my new condo. As some of you may remember, my holiday party last year was not without it’s drama, but I am happy to report that this year’s shindig was a rousing success! Although universes collided, there were no fatalities. I think the layout of my condo was much more conducive to mingling, and everywhere I went, I saw different groups of people chatting. Law school friends, high school friends, work peeps, and college buddies all interacted with one another. And no blood was spilled! Although Mike did knock over a cranberry Mike’s lemonade, but luckily Resolve carpet cleaner was there to save the day. If they ever asked, I would so do commercials for that stuff it is amazing.

Hehe’s wedding to Kevin was over a month ago, and I received a thank you card from her yesterday. I usually read my mail on the elevator ride up to my condo (since I only receive, on average, one piece of real mail a day), and I managed to make a complete fool of myself doing that mundane task. Here is the relevant text of the card: “Dear Maggie, Thank you so much for the beautiful reading you did at the wedding…thanks so much for your help picking out my dress, I received so many compliments on it…and thanks for the silicone bakeware you got for us. It is the shit. I have always wanted it!” So, there I am reading this card in a crowded elevator thinking “awww…this card is so sweet” and then I get to the “it is the shit” portion. And of course, I bust out laughing. It was just so….Hehe. And everyone in the elevator stares at me. As you do. Best thank you card, EVER.

They (and by they I meant he crack local weatherpeople) are predicting a severe thunderstorm for the DC metro area today. I find myself actually looking forward to it. I had the Riley clan over for dinner on Sunday and my ES (evil stepmother) asked me if I had seen any lightning yet out the wall of windows in the condo. I had to tell her no, but it really got me thinking about how cool that would be. Since I can pretty much see all of Alexandria from my view, I am thinking a good storm could be a really neat sight. As long as my building doesn’t get struck by lightning, even thought it’s the tallest thing around for miles…..oh, crap.

Currently Reading: The Ruins by Scott Smith

Currently Listening to: Fidelity by Regina Spektor.

Operation SVH Check: # 19: Showdown (Lila and Jessica compete over the same boy)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Chuck Norris, Eat Your Heart Out

In order to feed my continuing obsession with Jensen Ackles, I bring you Dean Winchester facts. Loosly based on (er, completely ripped off from) the Chuck Norris Facts that have been taking the internets by storm.

Top Thirty Dean Winchester Facts

1. Guns don't kill demons. Dean Winchester kills demons.

2. There is no hierarchy of demons. Just a list of demons Dean Winchester allows to live. For now.

3. When Dean Winchester was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Dean Winchester received an "A+" for writing only the words "Dean Winchester" and promptly turning in the paper.

4. The chief export of Dean Winchester is SEX.

5. Dean Winchester does not go hunting, because hunting implies the possibility of failure. Dean Winchester goes killing.

6. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Dean Winchester.

7. Dean Winchester does not read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

8. If Dean Winchester is late, time better slow the fuck down.

9. Dean Winchester can slam a revolving door.

10. Dean Winchester's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

No, wait. That's Chuck Norris.

ADDENDUM: Dean Winchester has cured cancer and looked damn good doing it.

11. If a demon can see Dean Winchester, he can see it. If it can't see Dean Winchester it may be only seconds away from death.

12. Dean Winchester has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

13. When Dean Winchester sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Dean Winchester has not had to pay taxes, ever.

14. Dean Winchester owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

He was four.

15. Dean Winchester doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

16. Dean Winchester is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

17. Time and tide wait for no man. Unless that man is Dean Winchester.

18. Dean Winchester sleeps with a night light. Not because Dean Winchester is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Dean Winchester.

19. Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads, "WWDWD?"

20. Crop circles are Dean Winchester's way of telling the world that sometimes, corn needs to lie the fuck down.

21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Dean Winchester can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

22. Dean Winchester has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.

23. Dean Winchester actually died ten years ago, but no Grim Reaper can get up the courage to tell him.

24. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Dean Winchester and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

25. Dean Winchester once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

26. Dean Winchester went to the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands

27. Dean Winchester is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Dean Winchester.

28. Dean Winchester's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

29. Dean Winchester always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.

30. Dean Winchester sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled hunting ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Dean shot the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

If you want to see the original Chuck Norris facts, click here. There are 9 pages worth. Damn. I guess males in the 18-34 age group really like Chuck Norris.