Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Dammit, Jim, I'm a Wizard Not a Doctor!

I suddenly realized I have done no posting about Harry Potter. How could I have been so neglectful? One of the best franchises in the world, and I have been absolutely mum about it all this time. Tsk tsk to me.

Selvi's Mom: "Do you want to know who the half blood prince is?"

Selvi's Bro: "No."

Selvi's Mom: (pause) "It's SNAPE!"

Selvi's Bro: (blink blink)

Selvi's Mom: "Dumbledore dies."

I think this pretty much sums up your reaction to HP. You either love it and must talk about it at every opportunity and for great length, or you really don't give a shit and don't understand why everybody else goes so freakin crazy over books about wizards (or you think it's lame just because it's popular like I was with E.R. but turns out I was right about that one).

So HP is the shit and you should just take my word for it. But why do we love it? Who knows? Ok, I know, but I'm not telling. Ok, I'm telling. Everyone wants to think they could have special powers, everyone wants to think dragons exist, everyone wants to think the nerdy girl can end up with the boy she likes, everyone loves a tale of an epic battle between good and evil. So there you go. Combine some classic storytelling elements with raging teenage hormones and a blockbuster is born! Plus, the movies kick major ass. And I don't care what you say--Daniel Radcliffe is the cutest thing since jesus.

You might be wondering: what is your favorite part of Harry Potter? Ok, here it is. Harry arrives at the Burrow and is told to go out in the garden and help get rid of garden gnomes. First of all, I love garden gnomes. I love them in movies (Amelie), I love them in commerials (travelocity--"am I going to die?"), I love them in real life (see re: Frederick my garden gnome who lives on top of my tv), and I love them in Harry Potter. To rid your garden of gnomes, you grab them by the head, swing them around, and toss them. The gnomes then dizzily stumble away and probably head back into their hole right after you leave the garden. This scene in the book is probably the funniest and most charming scene in modern literature. Disagree? Well, then fuck you.

But Harry Potter is the great uniter. Everyone can talk about it whether you are young, old, girl, boy, rich, poor, white, non-white...everyone! I am convinced the only people who don't like Harry Potter are those without souls or communists (who then go on to download illegal translations of it...take that China!). I mean, how can you diss some little kid with a lightning scar who has to save the world? He's just so darn cute and has become quite a sassy teenagr as the latest book shows.

So here's to all the Harry Potter fans! If JK keeps writing, I'll keep buying. And I absolutely cannot wait for the next movie to come out. Book 4 is my fav! And here is the most evil t-shirt EVER!

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