Thursday, July 27, 2006

Professionalism: The Course

People think being a lawyer is all about protecting the little guy or, in the alternative, working for the The Man and earning large amounts of cash. But there is more to it than that! In order to ensure that their newly made lawyers are performing to the high quality expected from them, the Virginia State Bar requires all new attorneys participate in a day-long professionalism course that covers, you guessed it, being professional and ethical.

And let me assure you all, it was a complete and utter waste of time. We spent an entire day rehashing the same points I just absorbed through three years of law school. Don’t lie to the judge, check. Don’t use profanity when speaking to support staff, check. Follow the appropriate steps when you have a conflict of interest with a case, check. Overall, the class was boring and not useful.

There was an upside though! I got to hone bourgeoning poetry talent, and craft some haikus. So for your reading enjoyment, I present my first set of haikus. Lovingly dedicated to those who made yesterday’s program possible.

I have good ethics
So why am I here?
So cold

No more speeches please
Why can’t you all just stop talking
Ears hurt

Why do I sit here
All alone and professional
Nap please

I am the most
When left to my own device
Lawyer

And my favorite:

Why do I hate you?
Perhaps because you talk so much
Shut up

Professionalism Quote of the Day: “Don’t be a jerk.” The Honorable M. Longhorne Keith

Currently Reading: “On a Pale Horse” by Piers Anthony

Currently Watching: “Farscape” Season 2. Slowly but surely making my way through the series.

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