Oscar 2007 Fashion Roundup

This year's Oscars were long (almost 4 hours, sweet jebus), but due to Ellen, the little asides and fun skits were pretty much hilarious across the board. If I was having my picture taken with Clint Eastwood, of course I would have Steven Spielberg take it. Hopefully he knows how to avoid red eye. And overall, I was satisfied with the fashion, but not overwhelmed. Basically the theme of this year's Oscar fashion was: almost but not quite. It seemed like an overwhelming majority of ladies had great dresses, and then there was one little detail that pushed it into tacky or, dare I say, ridiculous. Take Nicole Kidman for example:



The dress by itself is gorgeous. Long, slinky, the perfect shade of fire engine red. And then...the bow. I mean seriously. Nicole doesn't have a tiny head, and this bow looks like it is going to attack and swallow it. If only she had ditched the bow that ate Cleveland, I would have said she looked flawless. And it's not like Nicole would ever go to Cleveland. Bitch, please.

Another example of the "step too far"disease, was Anne Hathaway.

I loved her little skit with Meryl and Emily Blunt (whom I think is fab but secretly HATE because she is dating Michael Freaking Buble and he is mine dammit), and I think from the neck up she looks gorgeous and from the waist down ditto, but I don't get the bow. It's like someone spilled ink all over her dress maybe? Or she was holding a big plate of chocolate cake and someone walked by her and the plate got shoved into her dress. In any event, it doesn't work.

And the award for "so close and yet so far" goes to Beyonce.

Her gown is the palest of greens, and the cut of it is so flattering and classy and pretty. And hello, everyone knows she is smokin. And then there is this huge metal sparkly sash. Like someone put a collar on her and was leading her around the red carpet. Which, you know, might have happened. How would I know. The point is, she was sooooo close, and blew it.

I guess in the end, all of these things: the ginourmous bow, the sash, the sleeves on Naomi's dress, or the mirrors on Mrs. Murphy, all come down to matters of taste. I for one, do not get them.

But enough negativity! Time for the two ladies who I think blew everyone away. First, my perennial favorite, Kate Winslet.

Her gown was deceptively simple, with the beatiful shape, but when you look closer the criss-cross bodice and single strap add just enough interest to be surprising. And her hair, makeup, and jewelry are gorgeous. Seriously, how can you not love her??!!

And, in my opinion, the best dressed award goes to Helen Mirren. Look, it's easy to look amazing when you have a perfect body, are 32 years old, and can pick out any old pretty dress. But Dame Helen Mirren is a lady of a certain age, and although she has an amazing rack, time and gravity create certain challenges.

But look at her here! The dress is beaded on the bodice, but the skirt floats so beautifully. It has sleeves which are a must when you hit above 40 (just ask me mom, she never wear something wituout sleeves) and yeah, her boobs look great. She was just overall foxy, and had a very deserving win with The Queen, which was a really enjoyable and moving film. In short, Helen hit the perfect pitch with this dress and blows all those skinny american bitches away.

OMG so slippery!

The good news? My laptop is back so now I can actually post on my blog! Woo! The bad news? Washington DC has been hot by a blizzard. Seriously, it has been snowing for 3 hours and we have over 2 inches already. I was scheduled to work overtime today, and when I looked out my window at 10:00, it was snowing pretty heavily, but nothing was sticking to the roads. So I got ready to go and had some toast (yum!) When I looked out the window again, there was some snow on the roads, but I figured it wasn't so bad. Yeah, I was wrong.

I went one block and slipped and slid all over the road. So I figured driving downtown wasn't such a hot idea. So I turned around and the figured I would hit the grocery store since 1) I was already out, and 2) I was out of milk and I cannot survive without my kraft mac and cheese. So in the half mile I had to drive to the store I slid on the roads twice and crashed into the curb once. Luckily, there was no car on that part of the curb, cuz that would have sucked. On the way home I had an average speed of about 2 miles per hour coming home and STILL managed to get stuck in the parking lot. I had tried to pull into a space, decided it was too narrow, and after I had backed up and tried to go forward, the wheels just spun in the snow. So I sat there, in the middle of the parking lot, spinning my wheels in about 1 inch of snow. And then I got going and found another parking spot. The point is that I am not going out for the next two days. Unless I get cabin fever. Or want to work overtime tomorrow. Or need something else at the store.

Currently watching: Beakman's World. I loved this show when I was a kid, and I don't care what Cheryl says, it totally holds up.

Currently Reading: Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

Things That I Hate

1) Gateway

You have probably noticed the lack of updates lately. Or maybe not since only about 3 people read this blog. In an event, the reason for the lack of updating is because once again I am having computer troubles. Some of you are aware of my power cord issues, specifically, that I have gone through three of them in as many months. Finally, after having my computer once again run down and not reboot because of the whole “no power from the power cord” thing, I came to the conclusion that it’s probably not the power cord and is more likely a problem with the computer itself. So I took it to the evil people at Best Buy (also known as the Geek Squad) and they promptly shipped it off to Gateway for repairs. The dude who worked at the counter told me it was probably a short circuit on the motherboard. I just hope that they don’t have to wipe the memory (AGAIN) since it is such a pain in the butt getting all my music back into Itunes from my Ipod. Stupid computers.

2) La-Z-Boy

The next drama to present itself is the arm chair. When I originally ordered it from the store in AUGUST 2006 I asked for the dark stain on the arms and legs. Of course they deliver it with the light wood stain. After too many phone calls to count and multiple bouts of speaking to the manager, they order new arms and switch them out. One small problem: they forgot to order the legs. So then I had mismatched wood on the chair. Finally, finally, on Saturday the new legs arrived and the technician put them on. So after a six month ordeal, my chair is finally how I always envisioned it. While I like La-z-boy’s furniture, seriously, do not shop there. At least not at the Alexandria Kingstowne store.

3) Being sick

I was just telling my Dad (who it seems is chronically sick), that I have been fortunate to not have been ill in about two years. So of course I immediately wake up with a horrible sore throat. I then endured 7 days of what was probably the worst cold of my adult life. And the weird thing was that it kept mutating! After three days of a severe sore throat and constant post-nasal drip (which makes you do that weird compulsive swallowing thing at night), I then got the cough and the phlegm in the lungs. And then came the head cold with the congestion and the sinus pain. But thankfully by Saturday afternoon the thing had run its course and I started to feel better, just in time for my birthday! Which I will post about tomorrow. I’m trying to limit my at-work blogging, for obvious reasons.

Currently Reading: Dance of Death by Lincoln Child and Douglas Preston

Currently Watching: The Beatles Anthology. It almost makes me wish I was a child of the 60s. Almost.