Monday, May 18, 2009

Kicking it (really really) old school.

I've been wanting to visit Medieval Times for some time now. Even before The Cable Guy came out and brought the absurdity of the place to the masses.

The $50 price tag always seemed steep for about 2 hours of entertainment, but offered some discounted tickets the other day, and who am I to pass up a bargain? So Chris, Kent, and I made our way up to Hanover, Maryland (ugh...Maryland) for an evening of knights, kings, jousts, and eating with our fingers. Because they won't give you silverware, but you bet they have a whole array of Coke products!

Our trip didn't get off to the best of starts, what with the hellacious traffic on I-395. We were armed with Chris and Kent's GPS (named Judy) who led us on an alternative route through the ghetto of South East, but we emerged safe and sound onto the Baltimore-Washington Parkway and still had plenty of time to make the 7:00 curtain. Or whatever the alternative is for a show of this nature.

Medieval Times is located at the end of a mall in the middle of urban sprawl. Which somehow seems appropriate, don't you think? You're seated around a large arena divided by colors which designates the knight you cheer for. We were in the blue knight section, who may have gotten his ass kicked in the sword fight part of the show, but was by far the hottest knight. So I prefer to think that we actually won.

It's true they don't give you silverware; you eat with your fingers which is...interesting. But fun in it's own way. First course: tomato soup that tasted like spaghetti-Os without the pasta. Second course: Half a chicken (not kidding) that was really well cooked and seasoned, a piece of pork ribs that were also delicious, a large potato wedge, and a piece of garlic bread. Third course: an apple pastry that was kind of eh. Not even as good as McDonald's apple pie. But then, those things are pretty delicious.

I had to splurge for the strawberry daiquiri in the signature glass, because come on. Everybody needs a Medieval Times signature glass, right?

The show itself was entertaining; there was a loose plot about the Prince being captured by a kingdom that wanted to break away and be independent, represented by the green knight, but blah blah. There were sword fights and jousting and merriment and rivalries and that's what we were there to see. We booed for the evil green knight, cheered for our guy (even when he got his butt whopped) and in general had a great time. It was about 2 hours, but actually felt a lot longer so I think we got our money's worth. I'm not sure about paying $50 for it though.

Here are some pics!

Outside the mall entrance.

The empty arena.

Capturing the Prince.

Parade of the knights.

Me and Chris with our crowns.

Me and the Queen, er, Kent.

Sparks fly during a sword fight.

Bringing it in at the end of the show.

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