Alright it’s official. My brother is engaged to Amanda, one of my good high school friends. Yay? No, really, yay! Having a friend and your brother marry brings with it many benefits. 1) You already know the chick; 2) she already knows your family so we can cut down on that awkward, “so what do you do, Amanda? A minister? How nice!” conversation; 3) visiting and talking with both of them is fun. There are some downsides, but I am trying to work through those without being dumb, so we’ll skip it.
The impending nuptials (October 6, mark your calendar!) means that the family has entered wedding-mode. Anyone who has had a wedding in their immediate family knows what this means. Where conversations once focused on what happened that day during work or some interesting sight glimpsed from the metro train window, they now turn to matters such as which hotel are we staying at, which shoes would best match my bridesmaid dress without making my legs look stumpy, should we book the 35 seater limo coach van thingy for the ceremony ( I am totally serious about that one), and which one of the 500 dresses my mom has looked at would work best for the mother of the groom. And I’m not saying this is a bad thing, it’s just…weird. In my experience when one thing consumes your life (such as a hellish roommate re: junior year college, or the bar exam), when you are done with that thing often a big gaping hole left in your possible conversations. My point is that once my brother is done and married, the family will then want to continue talking about weddings, and that leaves me.
Yes, the worst thing about having a sibling get married is that it forces you to confront your own single-ness. My mother actually said to me, “you should start saving money for your wedding.” Uh, what? Ok, so I haven’t actually had in date in like forever and she is telling me to start saving for a wedding? Jesus. I think society put enough pressure on women to partner off, and now my mother starts. Although, to be fair, most girls get this kind of pressure way before I have. Hi, Selvi! And it’s not even real pressure, it’s my mom just having one of her stream of consciousness talking spells.
Maybe I am really the one putting pressure on myself because everyone I know seems to be either married, getting married, or has been dating someone for years. Weddings are always bittersweet because they bring you face-to-face with your singledom. I don’t think it’s unusual to feel very happy for someone else for having fallen in love with someone, and feel regretful that you yourself have not. Yet. Because I am, if nothing else, an optimist. So I will help plan and produce the Great Wedding of 07 and I will have fun doing it. And I will not feel sorry for myself. At least not a lot.
Mom Quote of the Day:
Mom: So Bill said he is going to get baptized in Amanda’s church and go to services. But he’s not going to participate a lot like your typical minister’s wife would.
Me: Wow. He’s going to go to church? Yikes.
Mom: I know. But I guess it’s not too big a deal. I mean, it can’t hurt him that much, right?