Give Me A Heart Attack, Why Don'tcha

A few days ago I received a packet of information from my loan officer that I needed to sign. Imagine my surprise when I look at the good faith estimate of my closing costs and realize it is $4000 higher than my original quote. In the immortal words of Damon Wayans, "Homey don't play that."

I am probably more fortunate than most that I have been working with the Branch Manager of the bank, although my paperwork was prepared by an underling. An underling who apparently screwed the fuck up. After talking to Scott (the manager), he told me that the numbers on the form I received were apparently plucked out of thin air and he had sent the loan officer a blistering email. Which now makes me feel kind of bad, because I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but seriously, $4000 is a lot of money. So you can understand my freak-out.

In other condo news, I did a second walk-through inspection to make sure the owner has repaired the things noted in the home inspection report. Well, he didn't. He replaced an outlet and put a new battery in the smoke alarm. That's about it. Which means there is still some electrical and plumbing work. And I am one week away from closing. I have a funny feeling Jean Claude (the seller) is going to stick me with fixing all this crap, and just take money off the sale price. Bastard. He's supposed to take care of this! Argh.

Currently Watching: X-Files. Creepy nail and hair fetish episode. In other news, how cute are Mulder and Scully?

Mom Quote of the Day: (upon seeing a guy in the hall of my new building) "I bet that's him! Jean Claude! He looks French...and freaky."

What the Eff?

Today a lady did something that just completely befuddled me. The bathroom on my floor was finally open after undergoing weeks of renovations, and I was happily situated in the first stall. The first in a line of six. Another lady comes in, and ENTERS THE STALL RIGHT NEXT TO ME. She has her choice of five...other…stalls. And she has to choose the one right next to me? Maybe I am overly weird, or just have a shy bladder, but that kind of freaks me out. She could have gone all the way to the other end of the bathroom, but no she has to go and pee like a foot and a half away from me. Way to respect my personal space, beyotch.

Currently Reading: “Map of Love” by Ahdaf Soueif

Currently Listening To: “Wicked” Original Broadway Soundtrack

Mom Quote of the Day:

Me: How come you’re so grumpy? At least I have an excuse.
You don’t even have a uterus anymore!
Mom: Yeah, well I still got ovaries so shut up.

Showstoppers

I’m going to see Kathy Griffin! That’s the big news this week. As many of you know, I am a Bravo junkie, meaning I can sit on my ass for hours and watch shows on the Bravo television network. Project Runway marathons, Queer Eye, it matters not, I will sit and watch.* One of the best guilty-pleasure shows on Bravo has been Kathy Griffin: Life on the D-List. Kathy is that sassy red-headed comedian who likes to talk trash about people more famous than her, or as I like to call her, my mentor. Well, it turns out Kathy is coming to DC in October and doing her stand-up at the Kennedy Center, and thanks to my quick-thinking friend Arista, I am going to be there!

In related news, there are tons of fantastic broadway shows traveling to DC or Baltimore in the coming months. Randomly, I decided to check out the webpages for the National Theatre, the Warner Theatre, and the Hippodrome to see what was coming, and HOLY SINGING AND DANCING, BATMAN! There are no less than 6 shows coming I want to see. If you are interested in seeing any of the following, drop me a line:

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee on Sept. 28

The Producers on Nov. 21

The Light in the Piazza, Dec.19 through Jan. 7

Wicked, Jan. 24 through Feb. 18

Aida, Feb. 13-18

Phantom of the Opera, June 20 through Aug. 12

I already have tickets to see the Spelling Bee and Producers, but the more the merrier! Who’s up for some culture??

* Except for the following: Work Out, Top Chef, and the Real Housewives of Orange County. Nothing in this world could convince me to watch those pieces of shit.


IM of the day: from Selvi, discussing our upcoming bridge game:

oh, man, just like in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
and the women's card club!
5pm - take seats
5:15 - someone makes the first "pete masturbates" joke

My Boss Has A Sense of Humor

I just had the most awesome email conversation with my judge that began with a typo in one of my decisions. Basically, instead of calling him a "Veterans Law Judge," I said he was an "Acting Veterans Law Judge." Here are the emails in conversation form:

Him: I almost missed it. You demoted me to Acting Veterans Law Judge status on the decision I just signed. Are you trying to tell me something?

Me: Uh, whoops. I think that is from when I was writing for all those Actings last week. Or, I am sending a subtle subliminal signal that you should well walk softly stranger....nah. Just a whoops!

Him: Make sure you never identify Nancy as an Acting Veterans Law Judge. There is no telling what adverse consequences might result.

Me: I sometimes feel that she could destroy me with just the power of her mind.

Him: You are so right.

It's Mine!

Condo update: I got one!

It's located on the top floor of a high-rise in West Alexandria and has the most magnificent view. Pics will be forthcoming but blogger is taking far too long to load them right now. But yay for having my own place!

This Is Getting Out Of Hand

My weirdness is reaching all new levels. In fact, I think I may need an intervention. My normal 10:00 a.m. snack is trail mix (it's so delicious!), but the best part of trail mix is making sure you get the right mix of nuts, raisins, and chocolate pieces per bite. So I have started dumping about a handful of trailmix on my desk, and then dividing it into bite-size potions. This allows me to ensure that each bite-size portion has the correct ratio of nuts-raisins-chocolate.

I think I need help.

Is it normal for people to be this OCD regarding their food? I mean, are there people who can just reach into the bag and grab a handful of trailmix and eat it? Why don't they worry about getting a handful that is all nuts, or all raisins? I prefer to think that this is the kind of behavior that all people do, but nobody talks about.

Currently Watching Dark Angel (shut up, it has Jensen in it!)

Currently Listening To: Enter the Haggis


See, I told you Jensen was hot.

The Hunt Continues...

This will be a short post. I put an offer on a condo and they decided to go with someone else. The end.

So the search continues! I know lurking out there is the perfect place for me. I just have to find it. Stay tuned for updates!

Oh, and the "working overtime on the weekends" train keeps rolling. This will be my second weekend in a row doing it. But these weekends will get me: new kitchen cabinets, or a new bathroom floor, or a new dishwasher, etc. etc. So feel free to call/gmail chat this weekend since I will be trapped in the office. SAVE ME!

She Works Hard For The Money

Due to my current financial situation, meaning that I am shopping for condos and am starting to wig about how I will afford everything I need, I decided to work overtime this weekend. And every weekend. My job has overtime available on the weekends through September 24, and if I work 5 hours on Saturday and 5 hours on Sunday, I can make a sizeable chunk of change.

However, working overtime is the suck. Coming in on my days off...it's rough man. But I gotta say, I like working there on the weekends better than on the weekdays. I can drive in and park for free in the garage under the building, I can wear jeans (whoo!), and the office is empty meaning I can cubicle dance and sing along to my Ipod to my heart's delight. But it is still the suck since I would rather be outside enjoying my weekend.

And it hasn't been easy since the weather this weekend has been so gorgeous! Have you been outside at all? My GOD it feels like late September and fall is right around the corner. But I know it is all a clever ruse and more stifling heat is right around the corner. I saw An Inconvenient Truth. I know the end is nigh.

My request for you is that if you see me on gmail this weekend (or any weekend) feel free to distract me since I am pounding away at the keyboard on my precious days off. Come save me!

Currently Watching: "Farscape" MUPPETS. IN. SPAAAACE!

Currently Reading: ""Night in the Lonesome October" by Richard Laymon

Return of the Attack of the Condos!

Remember when I said I was going to sit back and not look at condos for awhile? Yeah, that didn’t really happen. As the DC housing market cools off, and interest rates stop rising, now turns out to be the perfect time to buy, so here I am again. My weekends are full of meetings with my realtor, checking out units, and looking for an affordable couch that won’t fall apart the minute someone sits on it. And, I am already pre-approved for a mortgage up to $250,000!

Right now I have been looking at a lot of one bedroom units, mostly in the Van Dorn area near Landmark Mall, about 20 minutes from where I live now. But Mom wants me to live in a high-rise about 3 minutes from where I live now called River Towers which is slightly pricier because this is the posh side of Alexandria. The units there are actually really nice, but they don’t have balconies, so I’m not sure what’s going to happen with that. Unless I can get a real bargain in that building, it might not happen.

The front-runner so far is a building called The Wapleton where Duke Street and Pickett intersect, just west of Old Town. Of course, upon hearing the name of the building, my mother says, “Oh! That must be named after Dr. Waple who owned all the land in that area. He ran the El Paw veterinary clinic, which is Waple spelled backwards, and I bet he sold all the land to the developer!” Her knowledge of the Northern Virginia area is really staggering. And not only is she correct, but the El Paw vet is still there and is about 1 block from where I would be living. Nice work Mom! Now shut it.

Also in contention is a fixer-upper unit near the Huntinton Metro with a gorgeous river view and HUGE closets. Always a plus. There are just a ton of units on the market right now, and every place we visit the owners are calling my realtor and asking if I want to make an offer and they are ready to deal. People are getting desperate! And you know the value of these places is never going to go down. They are inside the Beltway for goodness sake! Basically, it’s a really good investment.

Also on the condo newsfront, my Dad has been pressuring me to look at two bedroom places but I figured I couldn’t afford the monthly payments the first couple months by myself. Then I talk to Caroline, who is dying to get out of DC, and she said if I found a good place she would be my roomie! Now, I know I have said I want to live by myself, but how much fun would me and Caroline have? Imagine the hours of tv watching that would get logged in that apartment…it boggles the mind.

So stay tuned for condo updates! I am thinking I’ll be making an offer on a place near the end of this month. So exciting!

Quote of the Day (from my brother):
Bill: Alright, chipmunk. This is your last warning. You come up here again and I'll samurai-sword you!"
Me: What are you talking about?
Bill: The chipmunk eats through my dryer vent from the backyard and crawls up into it and leaves his nuts. The first time was a misunderstanding. The next time is just mean.

Currently Listening To: “Escapology” by Robbie Williams.

Currently Reading: “Night Chills” by Dean Koontz.

Professionalism: The Course

People think being a lawyer is all about protecting the little guy or, in the alternative, working for the The Man and earning large amounts of cash. But there is more to it than that! In order to ensure that their newly made lawyers are performing to the high quality expected from them, the Virginia State Bar requires all new attorneys participate in a day-long professionalism course that covers, you guessed it, being professional and ethical.

And let me assure you all, it was a complete and utter waste of time. We spent an entire day rehashing the same points I just absorbed through three years of law school. Don’t lie to the judge, check. Don’t use profanity when speaking to support staff, check. Follow the appropriate steps when you have a conflict of interest with a case, check. Overall, the class was boring and not useful.

There was an upside though! I got to hone bourgeoning poetry talent, and craft some haikus. So for your reading enjoyment, I present my first set of haikus. Lovingly dedicated to those who made yesterday’s program possible.

I have good ethics
So why am I here?
So cold

No more speeches please
Why can’t you all just stop talking
Ears hurt

Why do I sit here
All alone and professional
Nap please

I am the most
When left to my own device
Lawyer

And my favorite:

Why do I hate you?
Perhaps because you talk so much
Shut up

Professionalism Quote of the Day: “Don’t be a jerk.” The Honorable M. Longhorne Keith

Currently Reading: “On a Pale Horse” by Piers Anthony

Currently Watching: “Farscape” Season 2. Slowly but surely making my way through the series.

Alpacas For Everyone!

I know this was posted on Cute Overload about a thousand years ago, but I find it so awesome, that I have to mention it here. Plus, I just made the picture my desktop at work and it makes me smile every time I see it.

This kid (Rory) lives in Australia where there aren’t a lot of other kids, I think his parents are farmers or something. But Rory looooves to play football, and it’s hard when you don’t have any other kids to play with. So Rory’s Mom (who is obvy a freakin genius), enlisted the aid of the family border collie and alpaca. So now the kid, the dog, and the alpaca all play football together.

How awesome is that? I think, right at this moment, if I could have anything in the world, I would get a football playing alpaca. They need to make a movie about this. In your face Air Bud!



Mom’s Quote of the Day: “In the space of time it took this meat to defrost, it has morphed from chicken into pork. So I hope you like pork.”

Doctor Who Quote of the Day “Victory…..should be naked.”

The Hell?

Last week, Caroline, Moe, and I headed out to the wilds of Manassas to see Kelly Clarkson at Nissan Pavillion. And I am ok admitting that to you, Kelly Clarkson rocks out and has (I think) managed to earn enough street cred to escape her American Idol beginnings. But the point of this post is not to discuss Kelly.

The point is to comment on the latest shoe trend: the croc. Let me just say, I cannot think of an uglier shoe. I would rather see Sienna Miller scampering about in a denim mini, leggings, and Ugg boots than have to see another 14 year old or soccer mom running around in crocs. Crocs not infiltrated your corner of suburbia yet? Not to worry, they will soon. Gaze upon the hideousness:

And the orange is not even the worst color I have seen. The lime green (the most popular color in DC) is what really frightens me. Now, my biggest problem with these shoes is not that they are ugly. And they are. But it's that people who buy them go on and on about how comfortable they are, but let's be honest folks. The things are made from plastic. And you can put however many little cut-outs along the side as you want, you are still sticking your foot into a plastic cave where it will live and sweat all day. Meaning your shoes and your feet are going to be N-A-S-T-Y.

Feet need to breathe! Feet need air! Especially in the DC swamp in the summer! Save your feet, do not give in to the temptation to buy ugly plastic shoes that make your feet sweat and were probably assembled my orphan children in Korea!

FIGHT THE CROCS

For more information, visit the shoe blog run by The Manolo. He is all knowing.

Currently Wearing: Brown thong sandels by Kenneth Cole. No crocs for me, bitches!

In this corner, Captain Jack. In that corner...er...Captain Jack

This weekend I traveled to Charlottesville to visit Selvi, she of the First Big Job and Post School Life. Selvi has joined the ranks of us fellow rat-racers and is currently working as a genetic counselor at her first “real” job. Go Selvi!

As the dutiful friend that I am, I braved central Virginia to visit the Selvster. And this weekend will forever be known as the weekend of Captain Jacks. I had taped the first 8 episodes of the Doctor Who marathon on SciFi this week so I could share with Selvi, but when we settled in to watch on Friday night, the sound quality on the tape was terrible.

(Aside: yes, I realize there is pretty much nothing dorkier than Doctor Who. But I believe we have sufficiently covered the topic that I am a big nerd and the show is the shit. So shut it. For further details, see my tv blog, TV Sluts)

Getting back to our story, the sound quality was the suck, so we set out to scour Charlottesville video stores for the DVD that was released last week. The first, oh let’s say, three places I called and asked had no idea what I was asking about and also had it checked out. Poop. Then what do we pass but the beautiful glowing yellow Best Buy sign. Somehow I had always known it was going to come to this. 5 minutes later I purchased Doctor Who Series 1 on DVD for the bargain price of $65. TOTALLY worth it.

Around, 4:30 in the morning Selvi and I decided to turn after watching 10 episodes and becoming drooling teenyboppers for the Doctor and Captain Jack (that's him in the WWII era coat in the pic).

We finished the last 3 episodes the next afternoon before tackling the nefarious greens at Putt Putt golf. It had these huge plastic zoo animals scattered about, and I swear, the giraffe was leering at me. Do not turn your back on the giraffe!
Saturday evening Selvi and I went to the Carmike Cinemas (and I thought I had escaped Carmike forever) and saw Pirates of the Caribbean 2. And I gotta say, how disappointing. The film had become a parody of itself, Johnny Depp was doing an impression of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack, and the only person to totally rock out was Jack Davenport as Commodore Norrington. HOTT. I totally would have chosen him over lame Will Turner any day of the week. Oh, and Bill Nighy as Davy Jones was pretty badass. But other than that: meh. Seriously. Once again, Hollywood has produced a sequel that was lame and unsurprising.

So, Captain Jack from Doctor Who wins hands down against Captain Jack Sparrow. Actually, come to think about it, Captain Jack would probably kick Captain Jack’s ass, and then they would end up sleeping with each other. Did I mention Selvi and I also watched Brokeback Mountain? What a gay weekend! And by gay I mean fun and fancy free.

Currently Watching: Farscape Season 1 (courtesy of Dorilyn)

Currently Reading: King Dork by Frank Portman (no, it's not an autobiography. Bitches. But it is an awesome book).

Attack of the Condos!

As some of you know, in the past few days it looked like I might be getting a condo. Not just any condo, the most perfect condo in Alexandria. Perfect location (within walking distance of the blue and yellow lines), about 5 miles from my parents’ homes, with 9 foot ceilings, crown molding, a big bedroom, and a gorgeous kitchen. Well, basically, I decided to wait. I’m being responsible! PRAISE ME!

Anyhoo, the condo cost $288,000 which, believe it or not, is a really great price for a one bedroom place in Alexandria. Virginia offers a ton of incentives for first time homebuyers such as no down payment, low monthly payments, etc. so it’s possible I could have afforded this place on my pathetic government salary.

But here’s the thing. I have been telling myself I am about two years away from moving out and that is the frame of mind I have been in. When it seemed like all of a sudden I might be getting a condo in a month or two, I kind of froze. I just haven’t felt “ready.” This is the kind of big step that for someone like me (a compulsive planner), requires time to sink in. I mean, I would own property. I don’t own anything! My mom technically owns my car, and she and my brother pitched in on my laptop. So pretty much the only thing that I own of any value right now is my Sony 5 disc DVD player. Whoo?

I also talked to a friend of Mom’s who owns a bunch of real estate in Northern Virginia and he suggested waiting a year or two. Apparently, interest rates are very high right now and in the next couple of months the market will be cooling down. Which means if I wait, prices might come down. And I am sure people will be trying to sell their condos in the community I want (The Exchange at Van Dorn btw).

So that’s where I stand right now. I’m not going anywhere for at least a year, assuming I don’t win the lottery or get married or something. And, you know what? That’s ok. I like being at home. There’s no shame in living in the basement. Especially not when it looks like mine, I’ve got a 5 disc DVD player down there.

It's Never Too Early to Pick a President

I have become a big fan of podcasts, I listen to them at work while I am trolling through medical records and other assorted activities that don’t necessarily require loads of brainpower (insert obligatory how hard is your job joke here). Right now I listen to my Harry Potter podcasts, The Onion’s daily podcast, and my new obsession, Real Time with Bill Maher. Basically, HBO has taken Bill Maher’s weekly show (which follows a similar format as Politically Incorrect), and posted the audio. While listening to this show, spontaneous laughter and cheering break out from my cubicle and I am sure my office-mate Fatima thinks I am insane.

On the last episode I listened to, Bill had as one of his panel guests, Senator Joe Biden from Delaware (democrat, of course, else why would I care?). Interesting fact: Joe is the only person from either party to publicly state that he will run for President in 2008. And from what I have heard and read about him, I would vote for him in a second. If it comes to Joe Biden or Mark Warner (former VA governor) in the primaries I have no idea what I would do, because I love them so. Here is a quote from Joe, ahem, Senator Biden, from the show:

"The problem with this country is we haven't had any leader with the nerve to challenge the American people to do the things they are ready to do. These people here are ready…what the hell has anybody in this country asked anybody to do in terms of building this country? What would have happened if the President had gone and said, right after 9/11, I have an energy policy, it's gonna be painful, this is what it's gonna take and I expect you to do it? They would have all responded, at that moment, they would have. It was a squandered opportunity. We don't have leadership."

You go Joe! Any politician willing to use profanity to make his point has my vote! Except not, see re: Dick Cheney. It just seemed like everything this guy said resonated with me and made total sense, and how often do you find that in politics? Here is another gem, discussing why democrats always get clobbered by the religious voters who run to the Republicans come election day:

"We have too many elites in our [democrat] party who look down their noses at people of faith. The people of faith don't want us to share their view, they just want to know we respect them"

Again, I agree. You’re always going to have those crazy Christians (CCs) who think blowing up abortion clinics is a good idea, or think Harry Potter is the evil, or STILL wear those WWJD bracelets (seriously, those things went out of style like 3 years ago, get with the program CCs), but for the most part they respect other people’s beliefs.

So remember Senator Joe Biden come election day. Here is his website if you want to check him out.

Quote of the day (from Bill Maher): "Americans want the contribution of the poor and the immigrants, without having to actually see them, or be among them. Which is why I suggest instead of building a wall on the border, we build a Wal-Mart. It would be 1,950 miles long, or the size of a normal Wal-Mart, and there would still be just the one register open. But it would solve this problem because if we build this Wal-Mart exactly on the border, the Americans could come through the front door and shop and the Mexicans could come through the back door and work."

It's the end of the world as we know it

Here is a gmail chat conversation between me and Caroline, based upon viewing the following pictures of KEVIN FEDERLINE. Yes, the handsome (guh!) man shown below is none other than K-FED! Go here if you don't believe me.


me: I just...I don't...
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??

Caroline: ..._dude_.

me: HE IS TOTALLY CUTE

Caroline: he looks like aston kutcher. dude.

me: I need a sweater, cleraly hell has FROZEN THE FUCK OVER
he looks like the dude from American Pie!

Caroline: i ... can't ...
qowei7ban425.

me: I mean
WTF, Caroline, WTF

Caroline: it's a sign of the armageddon

me: hide your babies and your beadwork!

Caroline: we must buy canned goods with a quickness

me: don't forget the can opener
that is key

Caroline: indeed.
and wineglasses
so we can toast to the end of time

me: and we need extra pairs of glasses so we don't end up like that guy who played the Joker in the old batman series who was in that twilight zone episode
you know, the one who was in the bank vault when the nuke hit and all he wanted to do was read and then he broke his glasses
oh, the irony!

Caroline: HAHAHA

me: so....
what are the chances this will be a permanent change?
I would say slim to none

Caroline: oh, i betcha the goatee's already back.
i mean, those clothes were totally loaners for the photo shoot

me: and the socks with flip-flops look

Caroline: b/c that's hella sexy
the camel-actual-toe

Help! I'm a Prisoner in the Metro!

Picture this: here I am standing on the Metro minding my own business, reading my book. I am tucked into a corner and am not blocking any doors or any walkways. I am, however, holding onto to one of the poles because the driver of the yellow line seems to be doing his best to ensure we never reach the end of line intact.

The doors open at the Pentagon City stop and three teenagers (two guys and a girl) get on the train. This, in itself, is not bad. I was a teenager once. Emotionally, I probably still am. So whatever. Despite the fact that the girl is clutching some new fangled video game called “Hitman” like someone will try to rip it of her arms, I do my best to ignore them. Until one of the teenagers (the shorter guy) commits my biggest Metro pet peeve: leaning against the pole I am holding onto and squashing my hand against him.

I think this is really gross. I don’t like some stranger pressing their sweaty selves against my hand when I am simply trying to hold the pole. Not only is it gross, it’s rude because it ensures nobody else can use that pole because apparently you need the ENTIRE THING to hold up the weight of your body.

So the guy is leaning against the pole and my hand is trapped against his upper arm. I try to wiggle my fingers around (under the guise of getting a better grip) so he will get a clue that he has taken my hand hostage. No luck. So I do it again, with a little more vigorous wiggling. Nothing. Finally, I jerk my hand loose which causes him to dislodge from the pole a bit. This is when he looks around and notices my hand had been squashed. I shoot him a dirty look and get nothing in return. No sheepish glance, no apology, nothing. Just a blank stare. Sigh.

But it could have been worse. Once when I was holding onto the pole, some skeevy guy came along, leaned up against the pole, and trapped my hand against the sweaty, nasty back of his neck! I think that was the low point in my metro adventures. That and the chicken-juvie hall girl (see my post of May 6, 2006 for details).

No locusts!

Summertime, and it’s hot, hazy, and humid. Typical. BUT. Summer also means it’s time to break out the skirts! Now, here’s the thing. I don’t really mind wearing skirts, they keep you cooler and can be fun, but I look better in pants. I’m just saying. When you’ve got pudged legs and calves, you look better in pants. So I tend to not wear skirts until it gets really hot.

This usually inspires people to say “you’re wearing a skirt!” in a shocked manner when they see me. This usually surprises me, because while I was working at the bookstore in Williamsburg in the summer I always wore skirts. In fact, if I wore pants people would be in shock about that. Either way people are surprised. But here we are on Wednesday and I have worn a skirt everyday this week.

Oh, and one thing that really annoys me about skirts. If you sit in any kind of leather or plastic seat, you get that nasty back-of-thighs-sticking-to-chair syndrome. Ick! And then you get the indentations of the chair on your legs and that is not a good look on anyone. This is just another one of the myriad reasons why I don’t really like the summer. But my chair at work has a fabric seat, so woot! No worries!

Mom’s Quote of the Day: “Every time I call King David [our family’s Jewish cemetery] and tell them my name is Rachel Riley, they tell me I must have the wrong number. They say ‘you must want the protestant memorial park.’ Marg, when I die, you go over there and make sure they’ll let me in!”

Currently Watching: The PBS Frontline special on AIDS. It is amazing.

Currently Reading: “Scruples” by Judith Krantz.

Spring Cleaning, er, NOT

When I was younger and bored, my idea of a good time was to declutter my room. Not necessarily clean (too many chemicals, blech!), but really get into the far recesses of my closet, root around under my bed, and go through old school papers, photos, and assorted crap. It occurred to me this morning that I have not done this in a long time. Probably due to the fact that most of my stuff is currently sitting in a storage unit in downtown Alexandria, but also due to the fact that I have managed to purge myself of a lot of baggage in the past couple years.

For once I am not speaking of emotional baggage, but the actual physical unloading of the crap I carry around. Moving out of my townhouse after law school had a lot to do with this. I HATE moving, probably due to the fact that I never did it before (that’s right, I still live in the same house I grew up in) and having to pack up and hit the road immediately after graduation forced me to quickly ascertain what was coming and what was going. If it looked like it would gather dust, I pitched it. If it was easily and cheaply replaceable, I pitched it. If I hadn’t worn it in two years, it got donated.

Which means, despite the fact that I am older now, I probably own less stuff than any other time in my life. Which = whoo! I always had this kind of fear of becoming like the creepy baglady woman in the movie Labyrinth. You know who I mean. The one who tried to get Sarah to stay in her old bedroom with all her stuff piled up on her back.
But now, everything I own in the world can fit in an 8 x 4 room. And by “fit” I mean, be stacked to the ceiling. But still. That’s pretty impressive.

I’ve always been a firm believer in the idea that when your living space is not cluttered it helps your mind become not cluttered. So that means I have no excuse. Ready mind? Get decluttered!

Attack of the Andibear!

Yesterday I was lucky to have dinner with my old pal, Andi. Also known as Andibear and the Worst Lesbian Ever. I got to meet her boyfriend (hence the nickname) and we had dinner at a restaurant in Union Station downtown. It was a beautiful evening (we sat outside) and talked about what we were watching, reading, and also made fun of Nebraska. Because, you know, we could.

I haven’t seen Andi in almost a year, in fact, the last time we hung out was in Roanoke last summer the night before I took the bar exam. And that wasn’t exactly an environment conducive for fun and hijinks. Although she does exhibit a great calming force. There is something very nurturing about Andi.

She and Jeff are oh so very cute and make me want to gouge my eyes out from the cuddliness, or maybe that’s the jealousy. I mean, my GOD. The LESBIAN finds a boyfriend and I am still waiting for that train. But, I digress.

Andi and Jeff were headed back to Boston after a wedding-filled weekend, and I was lucky enough to snag them for a few hours. The good news is they will be coming back to the DC area for a conference in November, which is like 6 months from now, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Oh, and I did my best to convince Andi to make guest appearances at bridge club. The truth came out that on Monday nights when she claims to be “writing papers” she is in fact “watching 24.” But I think she is afraid I will hassle her if she comes once and then never comes back. Where would she get that idea? COME BACK ANDI. We miss you! And we promise not to boot you from the table even if you take forever to decide what to play. And, hello, summer = reruns. So you are good to go.

Currently listening to: For Andibear, “Whiter Shade of Pale.” It’s our song.

Currently Reading: “The Book Thief” by Marcus Zusak